Sam and Dean...Morning Talk
Dean did not hear the knock on his door the next morning, nor the door open. He'd still not recovered from two days before, and was just tired.
A breakfast tray was brought in and a familiar hand gently shook him.
Dean's eyes squinted up at the familiar face. “Morning,” he mumbled.
A tired looking Sam gave him a smile. "Hey."
“You don't look too hot, Sammy. You okay?” Dean struggled to turn onto his left side so he could lift himself up with his left arm and hand.
"Yesterday was pretty draining." He helped his brother up.
“Thanks, man.” The older brother leaned over and turned off the heating pad, then slowly eased himself off the bed, and headed towards the bathroom.
Coming back out, he looked at the tray. One? “Watari bringing mine?”
"I ate already. It's a bit late. Everyone decided to let you sleep in for a while."
“I appreciate that, but I had an easy day yesterday. You still look tired. What time is it?”
"Nine thirty," he answered, taking a seat at the table.
“That takes a chunk out of a day. What did he send this morning?”
"Whole grain waffles with fruit. Pretty good."
“Sounds good. Care to talk about it? I've been worried about you. I'm trying to not be mommy/daddy here.”
Sam slumped a bit, grabbing a cup of tea that had been added for himself. "Facing my stupidity for the most part...what I could've done better and how to make the healthier choices in the future. Anger issues too."
“Anger issues?” Dean took a bite of the waffles and fruit, and smiled softly.
He sipped the tea. "Yeah..I've got it bad."
“I'd like to understand, Sam.”
"There's a lot of anger that's built up over the years, Dean. At myself, at Dad..some at you...mostly at the situations I face. Instead of reacting normally, I get pissed."
“I can't do much about Dad or you, but the situations.....me, what can I do?”
"We're already starting on it. Going to big brother instead of parent for one thing. Communication for the next part. Just..if I start getting angry, you're going to have to help me realize it and get me to vent in a healthy manner."
Dean nodded as he swallowed, and picked up the cup of tea. His eyes popped open wide. “What is this? I don't taste tea, but I do taste vanilla and honey.” He shook his head, took another sip. “It's not bad, though. Surprised me.”
He looked at Sam thoughtfully. “I've got a problem that needs your help, too, Sam. I never knew I was even considered by you as being wrong by being Mom and Dad to you. I'd done it for so long,Sam, tt caused a lot of pain in my life doing it. Pain I told no one about. Still haven't I will admit, when you said that two nights ago, I had mixed feelings about it. I was angry and hurt because I felt I'd had no life being that for you. The other, though, was relief. I'd like to be the big brother and do those things you talked about. Problem I have, is 27 years of being your parents. You're gonna have to help me without getting angry, Sam. Maybe some signal or something to just say 'Hey! Knock it off!' Can you do that?”
He nodded. "Chamomile and yeah, I think it's a good idea. We can set up a signal or set of signals. If we're upsetting each other and need space, if one is doing something that's falling back to old habits, stuff like that."
“Yeah, exactly. Let's face it, Sam. We're gonna fall back into old habits once in a while. We need to guard each other to stop it.”
"Yup, hold each other accountable and be each other's support cause once these guys deem us fit enough, we'll have to watch each other's back.”
“Yeah, being brothers.”
He nodded again.
Dean thought for a few moments. “Signals might not always work with me,Sam. I start getting parental in your mind, call me 'Mom.' That will shut me up faster then anything.”
"You sure?"
Dean winced, “Yeah, I'm sure. Shock factor will knock it out of me faster then some signal. I guarantee it.”
"Or get a fist thrown at me," Sam responded.
The hunter sighed. “Yeah, it's a possibility, but damn it, Sam, you're a big boy. You told me not long ago that you could take me. Anyway, not likely, Sam. Not after what I've been through in here.”
"Seriously, it's wishful thinking on my part. You've got several years experience on me. Only way I get headway is 'cause you hold back."
“Seriously, Sam? I can't not hold back. If you ever got angry at me, you could probably kill me. But, as a brother, I'll teach you and show you where you're making mistakes, if you'd like. Once I'm well.”
"Yeah I would like that because I need to know how to cover your back more effectively."
“That's a date, once the doc gives me a clean bill of health. Changing the subject. I know our tastes run different. I understand that. Could you learn to like fishing?”
"I've never tried but am game to give it my best shot. Watari said I needed some slower type activities for meditation and relaxation."
“Fishing is perfect for that, but hiking can be too. If you get off the beaten path. I did something else while you were recovering. We stayed at the cabin in west Texas. It was out in the middle of desert and mountains. Incredible place, honestly. I want that place badly, Sam. L bought it, and said when I'm ready. Nice little town about 10 miles away. The city is about an hour or so away. I want to make a name for us as mechanics, rebuilders, and one other thing as a mechanic's place. People would come to us. Not too near the cabin. Maybe right outside of the town.”
Sam listened, trying to picture this. "Sounds lovely out there."
“I know there's a lot of snow in winter, but,Sam it's beautiful. The hikes in the desert and the mountains will be incredible. I did a little with Near and Watari. You're alone, unless you brought someone with you. There's places to sit and think. I love South Dakota, and Bobby's place. Don't get me wrong, but, Sam, I don't want to ride on Bobby's shirt tail. I got to train on the new vehicles and diesels. Might take a year of school. Body work, I can do. Sam, there's something else I want to do. You and Bobby may think I'm crazy.”
"What's that?"
"I want to design automobiles."
Well, Dean had rebuilt the Impala and had talent in other things. It made sense for his brother to go into this. "You'll wanna look into online schools. I can help with some of the maths and stuff you'll need to take..at least the core classes you'll have to take. Probably want to expand the cabin then to have an office for you with a drafting table and whatever else you need."
Dean sat still, staring at his brother. You don't think it's crazy.” It was said as a matter of fact, not a question. Sam realized that Dean had expected opposition.
"Why would I? You're bright, got good ideas..you know your way around an engine and car. You know what would work and not..what is needed for the future. Shit, I'm proud of you for realizing what you want."
“Really?” Dean almost sounded like a little boy, not sure if the treat offered was real or not.
"Hell yeah!"
“All right! I had this idea about a year ago. I was driving somewhere to get something. Don't remember now. I saw this guy, driving one of those new electric cars...tiny thing. He was watching my baby and he looked almost green with envy. Men, and some women, Sam, like big cars. The problem is they're expensive to drive now. I want to design one that is aerodynamically efficient. I read that one of the major companies is creating a fuel source that runs on a fuel created on plants out of the ocean. If I can maybe talk to them and see what type of engine would be needed to run solely on this source, we could have a big car that would be cheap to run.”
"The tricky part is approaching them to get the information you need. You'd have to show them some proof that you're designing vehicles to run on it and not looking to steal their ideas." He looked thoughtful on it.
“Well, it's a ways off yet. We got to get a good business going, and make a name for ourselves. I got to go to school and learn design. By that time, I may ask L if he could put a word in. He seems to know a lot of people.”
"He might at that. Maybe even get him as a silent partner or something, that'd be a good way to bring him in."
“You might consider taking some of those law courses, or find us someone honest, Sam. We will need contracts that don't steal my ideas out from under us. I won't sell the rights to anything. I'll work partnership, but I won't sell. The Winchester name is on it.”
"A silent partner to help with funding wouldn't hurt but only with really tight contracts. I could finish that and get a minor in business. That would keep me a bit busy though but worth it."
“You were almost through pre-law. How long does it take to get a law degree? Do you need a doctorate to be really good at it? We could both do it at the same time. While I'm learning the mechanic skills you could finish your pre-law. Then we could work together. You do your law, and I do automotive design.”
"Sounds like a plan. It'll be a challenge for me considering how long it's been since I was in school but think I could do it."
“Man, you can do it. You always had the brains for it. My problem is trying to get into automotive design on a GED.”
"You can do it. We'll get you there."
“Okay, we'll do it.” After I gank Lilith, because you can't be allowed to, little brother.
"We'll have to find a school for you."
“It will have to be some kind of technical school won't it?”
"I'll have to research that honestly. I'm not sure."
“Okay, I haven't seen Watari,yet. Are either of us on for a session today? I imagine I am. You may have a day off.”
"I haven't heard. Think they're giving us time to talk and vent if need be." He rubbed the back of his neck.
“I wish my hands were free. I'd rub your neck for you. Looks like you need it.”
"I've got knots in my neck, shoulders, and upper back like you wouldn't believe."
Dean made a decision. “Get on the floor, on your stomach.”
"You're hurting though, Dean."
“I can do this, Sam.”
"Just promise if it hurts, stop." He looked worried.
“Okay. Take your shirt off. On your stomach.”
The shirt was pulled off, and he laid on the floor with a soft groan.
Dean straddled Sam's butt and began ripping the bandages off his left hand with his teeth. Starting at the lower back he felt for knots. He found where the knots on Sams back, shoulders and neck were. Bending over, he used his arm and elbow to work each knot on the back until it broke free. He'd stop and check with the injured hand. It was slow work, but the back was soon taken care of.
He straddled his brother's back, and was soon working on the shoulders, one knot at a time, using his left hand. He'd stop, shake out the hand and work some more. He began on the neck. The massage took about 45 minutes but Dean had finally worked the knots free.
He slid off onto his left side and lay on his back a moment, catching his breath. “I need some ointment and bandages for the hand, when you're up to moving. I'm surprised someone didn't come in here and kick my ass for removing the bandages. Would have had a fight though.”
"Oh my god, Dean..I think I can move again. I had no idea it was that bad."He got up, stretching and went to find the first aid kit.
The older brother lay on his back on the floor, easing his own muscles. It felt good to have something hard like a floor under him. He forced his back to go straight with no curve. It enabled him to pull muscles and felt good. He relaxed and waited on Sam, wondering why the hell Watari was not in here making a fuss. He would have been if he'd seen. Dean looked around trying to figure where the small cameras could be hidden. Did L turn them off? Why?
Sam came back and rebandaged his hand. "Better?"
“Yeah, thanks. Help me up?” Dean held out the newly bandaged hand.
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