“Let's see what new food Watari wants to me to like today. It's got to be lunchtime. Watari has changed my diet, Sam. The doctors didn't like some tests they ran. Not eating right, so new diet. Some of it I actually like, so don't have a heart attack when you see what I'm eating. It's supposed to be good for me.”
Dean laughed and slowly made his way towards the building. “Want to eat in my room? They bring my meals there. If that's fine with you?”
"That's fine with me. You mean, they managed to change your diet?"
“I didn't tell you yet that the queen I had to sleep with to be able to cut off her head? Well, her bodily fluids were highly acidic. That's why the drug that deadened pain and made me very biddable and horny was given to me. I had the whipping from Ruby, and I was badly burned over a large part of my body. Cas was injured during a battle with a large number of demons. When I found out the bodies weren't salted and burned, L sent Matt and Near to do it. Ruby took them, so Cas was forced to heal the injuries, but the drain on my body, well he didn't have the power to do that too. Then the shooting was a bad one. My body wasn't healing fast enough. They ran tests. Diet change.”
"I'm glad you changed how you eat, Dean. I want you around a long time, you know."
“Me too. I want us to live long enough to give our great grand kids hell.” He waited for his brother to open the door. The took the elevator back to the third floor and went to his room. He saw a servant and asked that Watari know they were in his room and would love lunch when there's time.
There were two trays waiting for them when they entered Dean's room. One had a small cup with the mid-day medication that the injured man would need to take.
Dean asked Sam to explain to him what everything was while he poured the pills into his hand and took the glass of water provided with them.
Sam pulled off a cover on his tray and grinned. "Wow. Looks like spaghetti with a side salad and some sort of pie."
“Dietetic apple, I bet, and it's good. If there's meat in that sauce, it's turkey. I guarantee it. What kind of dressing for the salad?”
"Caesar. Ohh...looks like wheat pasta. This looks delicious."
“Watari remembered that I liked the Caesar. That was nice of him. Is wheat pasta good?”
"Oh yes! It's got a heartier flavor."
“That's good then.” Sam noted that Dean was drinking iced tea. No alcohol and he remembered L's words. He wondered if his brother had faced any withdrawals or delirium tremors.
Sam took a bite of his spaghetti and gave a happy sigh. This was good. "How are you handling not having any alcohol around?"
Dean was grateful that someone had cut the spaghetti for him. He took a bite, making 'mmmmmmmmm' noises while he chewed. After swallowing, he looked at his brother. “I know I drank a lot, Sam. It was one of my ways to hide the pain. I am learning to cope with pain so I don't need the hard stuff any more. I remember telling you many times that I didn't have to have it. I was right. No problems.”
"Good. If there are problems, let someone know, OK?"
“Isn't it usually during the first few days with no alcohol? I'd have felt something by now. I've had none since our first day in Texas. I've lost track of time because of the hospital stay. Of course, there's been the pain medication in the hospital, and whatever Watari is giving me. That wouldn't affect it, would it?”
"I'm not sure but we can ask. Better to ask to be on the safe side." He took a bite of the salad.
He looked and watched his brother eating a large bite of the salad, licking his lips to get the dressing he missed. Sam's eyebrows raised at the sight of Dean enjoying salad.
"Remind me to thank Watari," he said with a grin.
Dean swallowed a bite of spaghetti. “For what?”
"You're eating healthy and enjoying it. It means my brother is going to be healthy later in life because of it."
Dean smirked, “Do you have any idea what that means? This tastes good, and I'm going to expect healthy food that tastes good. I don't know healthy food, but you do.” Dean's smirk intensified.
He laughed. "I do. We'll make it work out."
Dean grinned, “Deal, little brother. You are now named 'Chief Healthy Food Provider' of the Winchester realm.”
"You know, we probably should start keeping some sturdy cooking gear to take with us. We can shop and stock the fridge each place we go."
“We'll need to get nicer places that have fridges and stoves. It was suggested that we keep an ice chest and buy some healthy stuff to eat in the car, like fruit and maybe some raw vegetables. I wouldn't mind carrots.”
"I wouldn't either. Nuts are good to have around too. Good for when you're in a salty mood."
Dean smiled, “I'm cutting back on salt too. We could buy a bag of nuts, some baggies, and a nut cracker. I wouldn't mind cracking nuts while we relax at night”
He snickered. "That almost sounded wrong but yeah, those are good to nibble on. Healthy for your heart too."
Dean laughed, relaxed, and enjoying the banter, “Yeah, I've cracked a few in bar fights.”
He laughed, eating his meal. "I'll read up on recipes, see if that'll help us."
“Okay, but I want every recipe that Watari has, especially his Caesar dressing.”
"I'll bug him for it," he grinned. "Cause this is awesome."
“Sam, I like a salad dressing.”
"Yeah? That's not weird at all."
“It ought to be. I ate this last night, and I'm enjoying it again. I hate salads. I don't get croutons on it, did you notice. He puts these little crunchy things. If I didn't know better, I'd swear they were sunflower seeds.”
Sam double checked. "That's because they are."
“Whoever heard of putting sunflower seeds on salads? They are great. Taste kind of nutty in a strange way. I like them, but a salad?”
"It gives it texture and flavor," he answered.
“Whatever,” Dean said nonchalantly. “It's the first salad I've ever tasted that I ate the whole thing and was glad to see it served to me again.”
“I wonder if they have anything planned for this afternoon, cause I never did tell you the whole story about the hunt and what all happened. They got this beautiful indoor garden. We could get some drinks, and go sit and visit some more. I think most of the places have cameras. They'll tell us where there aren't,” Dean said, knowing his were turned off, and still wondering if they still were. “They have some really nice chairs in there. If you'd like to.”
He nodded. "That sounds nice."
The older brother ducked his head, grateful for real normalcy with his younger brother. Words came back to him about taking it slow, and no time alone for a while. He knew he'd pretty much taken charge about going outside, but L was brash enough to tell him no if he thought it wise. He hoped the indoor garden and the rest of their meals would keep going this rout. He wondered when Sam would break the first time, and where. He was pretty sure he'd be the cause, because almost all of Sam's problems stemmed from Dad, and trickled down to him. This meant being strong enough to take it so L and Watari wouldn't limit them again. If it was normal arguments, he wouldn't worry, but letting go of stuff and actually facing was a whole different ball game. He thought back to the morning and facing what Ruby had done was horrid. He was still going to tell Sam all of it when he discussed the hunt. Sam heard words but had no idea what happened totally. He'd heard enough to know it had been bad, and Dean was not consenting to it. The anger was gone. The nightmares might last a while, but he was learning to deal with so much, it was just one more. Sam needed to know the whole hunt. Hunts, combined, or solo, needed to be gone through, discussed, argued, and critiqued so mistakes didn't happen. This was a new thing he wanted instituted.
Sam was thoughtful as well during the meal. He wasn't sure what to do honestly. He wanted things better but everything was so messed up now.
He could never figure out how Dean could look at him and read him so well, but Dean was easily a Sam barometer at times.
The older man watched the emotions go through his brother's face and the eyes...so easily readable. “Sammy, I know you're scared. Me, too. I've been scared about us for a while. L and Watari are really helping. Give them a chance. Don't try to run from it.” He didn't realize his voice was pleading at the last statement. Sam running away to face it alone was his biggest fear.
"I am," he answered quietly. "That guy can be brutal when he needs to be," he responded in reference to L.
“He doesn't pull any punches, Sammy, but he's honest, forthright, and he reaches the problem and makes you face it. It's hard, but it will help in the long run. It's harder when you come face to face with yourself and have to let it out to deal with it. That's hell.”
"Yeah, he had me listing stuff earlier," he rubbed the back of his neck, staring at his plate. "That was rough..realizing I had so much going on that wasn't right."
“You know how I hate to write my thoughts and stuff? Well, I'm starting a journal. Going to be, anyway.”
"Probably would help," Sam answered back.
“Yeah. I can look back and say what an ass.”
"I don't even have to look back on mine honestly."
“Sam, we've both done stupid things. We were manipulated at times, both by Dad and Azazel and his friends. We are now, by other demons and the angels, who are manipulating Cas. Where we go wrong is what we've done with what's happened. We didn't know any better at times. It's how we were raised. We have to make it right to ourselves and each other. It's gonna hurt, Sammy. We are gonna hurt when we face it. We're gonna hurt each other when things we've done to hurt each other is dealt with. I thought we did good this morning, but there's gonna be times when we're gonna lash out. We need to be ready for that and deal with it in the right way.”
He nodded. "I know."
“I can't remember what floor that garden's on. We'll have to find somebody to ask.” Dean looked up. “If the cameras happen to be turned back on in here because we're alone, would you mind sending someone to give us directions or take us there? I'd hate to just be roaming. I still get tired too fast.” Dean sat back to wait, figuring L had done just that to his cameras.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door.
Dean sat up, an 'I told you so' look on his face as he said, “Come in. It's probably Matt or Mello because they don't trust you yet. They take a little to get past their guard, but they're okay kids. I like them. Wanted to kick Mello's ass at first, but he grows on you.”
"Matt wanted to kick my ass," Sam answered back as Mello came back in. "Hey, you wanted to see the garden inside?"
“Yeah, thanks, Mello. Ask L if he's going to have an on and off switch attached to these?” Dean grinned as he slowly got up. Mello had not seen him since the night before. Neither had Matt. His eyes widened at the bandaged hand and the bruised forehead.
"He usually does but since it's a volatile situation, he's not switching off."
Dean stiffened, the grin disappeared, and an angry look passed fleetingly across his face. Sam recognized it and knew Dean was not happy.
Dean sighed. “Yeah, he did say that to me. It's just aggravating, but I understand. I just don't like living in a fishbowl. Let's go.”
"Wait for us in the hall?" The question was asked towards Sam, who nodded and slipped out. Once alone, Mello looked at Dean "I know you don't like this..but right now, L wants you safe and healthy. When you're alone, you'll have your privacy but it's better to have the fishbowl until we know you two won't do something dumb."
“I might like to beat the crap out of him. I know my limitations, and I'm not sure whether he has any, so I'm being a good boy, here. I was afraid I wouldn't have any privacy. I need it at times. If I'm guaranteed it when he's not around, I can deal. Right now, L's right to be concerned about my safety and my health. I can lose it like this morning. Sam can lose it like last night. I was afraid that, after this morning, I wouldn't have any.”
"You have privacy when in here and alone. When he's with you, it stays on. L isn't that heartless."
My earlier question was intended to mean when I was alone. When you responded, I took it to mean never. Tell him, thank you.”
He nodded. "Not a problem. Come on, you wanted to see the gardens."
“Yeah, Sam and I didn't talk about the hunt yet. We discussed something I'd already dealt with. And as beautiful as it is outside, when you can't stand a long time, the benches start to hurt after a bit. There's nice chairs in the indoor garden.”
"Yeah. L had it constructed more for Near so he could enjoy the gardens without worrying about getting burned."
Dean's expression softened, “Yeah, he does need those things. I'm glad the gardens are there for him. Thanks for telling me that. It makes the place more special.”
"He tries to do things for us when he can." Mello opened the door for Dean.
“Yeah, he's good about that. He's been really kind to me, and I'm not one of you. Not like that.”
"In a way you are."
Dean stopped before going through the door to Sam. “In a way I'm what? Why would he think that?”
"Part of us," he grinned, then led them to the gardens.
Mello grinned wider when he saw the hunter's expression go from confusion to surprise to almost awe. “Really?”
"Yup," he said, opening the door to let them in. "Oh damn...someone didn't tell me he was in here." Near had curled up near some dice, sound asleep.
Dean's voice softened. “He's fine. We'll go down to the other side. It's large enough to where our voices won't bother him. Let him be.”
Mello nodded. "If you're sure?" He went and found a pillow, tucking it so it would alleviate the strain on Near's neck and injuries.
Sam eyed the boy that had earned Dean's respect. The teen seemed to have no color to him at all.
Dean smiled tenderly at the boy. He looked at Mello. “It's Near, Mello. Of course I'm sure.” He watched the blond adjust the pillow, knowing that Mello's attitude towards the younger one was changing, and he was glad.
"I need to let Watari know where he is." Mello rose."Enjoy the scenery."
“Thanks, Mello. We will.” Dean led the way to rear of the huge conservatory. He found two very comfortable lounging chairs and arranged himself in one, watching his brother do the same thing.
The blond left to tell Watari where Near was, a bit concerned as Near really shouldn't have drifted off to sleep so early in the day.
“Near's a real good kid, Sam. Is it normal to doze of like that this early in the day? He should be recovering like I am.?”
"The medicine he's on may be a bit strong for him given how small he is."
“He's slender. The way he dresses makes him look small. Wouldn't medication have been doing this before now?”
"It might have and you not noticed it due to your own recovery."
Dean started getting out of his chair. “Watari would have noticed, Sammy.' He took off at an almost run back down to where the small mound of white lay on the floor.
L was entering at the same time, concern etched on the usually expressionless face. He knelt beside his heir, fingers resting against the pulse point with unerring accuracy before scooping him up carefully. "I will have a doctor come in to look at him and will let you know. I believe there was a misjudgment on medication doses. We have noticed him dozing off at times but this is too heavy a sleep for Near."
Dean was gasping for breath, bandaged hand holding his ride side, pain etched on his face. He finally reached a run about halfway down the room. He looked at L, and asked, panic in his voice, “He gonna be alright?” He was wincing and trying to pretend nothing was wrong because of his worry over the boy.
"Agitating your injuries will do you no good nor will it help Near. I believe he will be but the doctor will know for certain. I will inform you when something is determined."
Dean's voice choked with concern and a tinge of anger. “Damn it, L. I'm not talking about a distant friend or an acquaintance here. I really care about the boy,” Dean turned and walked away, his left arm swinging out and sometimes raising high in a fist. . His emotions anything but under control. Sam stood there, trying to understand what had just happened, not sure what he should do, wishing Watari was here to deal with Dean.
"I understand that. I believe the medication is too strong for someone of Near's petite size. Getting angry will not help matters. I will let you know what is going on as soon as I know," was the parting shot before L carried Near out of there.
Dean had disappeared among the trees, trying to gain control. L was right as far as what he had said, but being coldhearted in the delivery did not help. Near was on the floor alone. Damn right he ran. He had no idea where anyone was. He hurt but he didn't give a damn at the moment. Tears were fighting for freedom and he would not do it where there were cameras to see it. His lungs started to ease, but his shoulder and clavicle hurt like hell. He refused to tell anyone that too. He wasn't even sure where Sam was. He sat with his knees up, left arm laying on one, his head back against the tree he was sitting on the ground leaning against. Near had been alone, and he'd been so scared when he realized what probably happened.
Sam found his brother, sitting beside him and gently tugging him into a hug.
“Wasn't trying to make myself worse, or get attention, Sammy. Didn't give a damn about myself right then. Near wasn't doing right. He's so little, Sammy. Someone has to watch over him, and he was alone. Hell yes, I ran. I'd do it again too.”
"He seems to approach things more logically, Dean. I wouldn't take offense to it. That's the first time I've seen emotion on that man's face."
I didn't see his face, my eyes were on Near. He's got to be all right, Sam. Got to be all right.”
"He looked worried," he shared with his brother. "I'm sure Near will be. I mean, he's got a lot of people pulling for his success, right?"
“Yeah, Sammy,” Dean's voice sounded emotionless. He leaned into this brother. “Thank you for holding me, Sam. Feels like home.”
Sam's grip tightened slightly. "Don't zone out on me, Dean. I hate that tone when you do that." It was gently spoken but full of worry.
“What do you mean, zone out? I'm here, Sam. Just feel funny, but I'm here. I'm fine, just feels good having you hold me. Been a long time.”
Dean smiled tenderly at the boy. He looked at Mello. “It's Near, Mello. Of course I'm sure.” He watched the blond adjust the pillow, knowing that Mello's attitude towards the younger one was changing, and he was glad.
"I need to let Watari know where he is." Mello rose."Enjoy the scenery."
“Thanks, Mello. We will.” Dean led the way to rear of the huge conservatory. He found two very comfortable lounging chairs and arranged himself in one, watching his brother do the same thing.
The blond left to tell Watari where Near was, a bit concerned as Near really shouldn't have drifted off to sleep so early in the day.
“Near's a real good kid, Sam. Is it normal to doze of like that this early in the day? He should be recovering like I am.?”
"The medicine he's on may be a bit strong for him given how small he is."
“He's slender. The way he dresses makes him look small. Wouldn't medication have been doing this before now?”
"It might have and you not noticed it due to your own recovery."
Dean started getting out of his chair. “Watari would have noticed, Sammy.' He took off at an almost run back down to wear the small mound white lay on the floor.
L was entering at the same time, concern etched on the usually expressionless face. He knelt beside his heir, fingers resting against the pulse point with unerring accuracy before scooping him up carefully. "I will have a doctor come in to look at him and will let you know. I believe there was a misjudgment on medication doses. We have noticed him dozing off at times but this is too heavy a sleep for Near."
Dean was gasping for breath, bandaged hand holding his ride side, pain etched on his face. He finally reached a run about halfway down the room. He looked at L, and asked, panic in his voice, “He gonna be alright?” He was wincing and trying to pretend nothing was wrong because of his worry over the boy.
"Agitating your injuries will do you no good nor will it help Near. I believe he will be but the doctor will know for certain. I will inform you when something is determined."
Dean's voice choked with concern and a tinge of anger. “Damn it, L. I'm not talking about a distant friend or an acquaintance here. I really care about the boy,” Dean turned and walked away, his left arm swinging out and sometimes raising high in a fist. . His emotions anything but under control. Sam stood there, trying to understand what had just happened, not sure what he should do, wishing Watari was here to deal with Dean.
"I understand that. I believe the medication is too strong for someone of Near's petite size. Getting angry will not help matters. I will let you know what is going on as soon as I know," was the parting shot before L carried Near out of there.
Dean had disappeared among the trees, trying to gain control. L was right as far as what he had said, but being coldhearted in the delivery did not help. Near was on the floor alone. Damn right he ran. He had no idea where anyone was. He hurt but he didn't give a damn at the moment. Tears were fighting for freedom and he would not do it where there were cameras to see it. His lungs started to ease, but his shoulder and clavicle hurt like hell. He refused to tell anyone that too. He wasn't even sure where Sam was. He sat with his knees up, right arm laying on one, his head back against the tree he was sitting on the ground leaning against. Near had been alone, and he'd been so scared when he realized what probably happened.
Sam found his brother, sitting beside him and gently tugging him into a hug.
“Wasn't trying to make myself worse, or get attention, Sammy. Didn't give a damn about myself right then. Near wasn't doing right. He's so little, Sammy. Someone has to watch over him, and he was alone. Hell yes, I ran. I'd do it again too.”
"He seems to approach things more logically, Dean. I wouldn't take offense to it. That's the first time I've seen emotion on that man's face."
I didn't see his face, my eyes were on Near. He's got to be all right, Sam. Got to be all right.”
"He looked worried," he shared with his brother. "I'm sure Near will be. I mean, he's got a lot of people pulling for his success, right?"
“Yeah, Sammy,” Dean's voice sounded emotionless. He leaned into this brother. “Thank you for holding me, Sam. Feels like home.”
Sam's grip tightened slightly. "Don't zone out on me, Dean. I hate that tone when you do that." It was gently spoken but full of worry.
“What do you mean, zone out? I'm here, Sam. Just feel funny, but I'm here. I'm fine, just feels good having you hold me. Been a long time.”
"Your voice went flat..no emotions at all."
“Sorry, Sammy. Don't really feel anything right now. Kind of numb. I'm okay.”
"Just worried about you."
“Don't be. I'm okay. Shouldn't have run that hard. Kinda feel shocky over Near. Scared me. I told ya, he's kinda like my own kid. Right now, I just feel numb.”
"He'll be all right," Sam murmured.
Dean's voice was still almost emotionless, coming and going. “Yeah, course he will. He'd better. Please, be okay.:
There was a small part of Sam that was jealous of this but he tamped it down, focusing on his brother. "He will be."
“Just like Sammy. He left me too, several times. Don't know if I'll get him back either.”
Sam felt him go limp with exhaustion, eyes closing.
"But Sammy is here," he murmured in his brother's ears.
Dean's hazel eyes opened and stared at him. “I know that, Sam. Why would you say that?” Sam realized that Dean had murmured a real fear from deep inside that he had not faced. In his exhausted state, with panic over Near, the real fear over his brother had escaped for a minute. One he refused to acknowledged existed. Dean wasn't the only one who understood his brother. Sam knew him.
Quietly, he shared what Dean had said, not willing to lie to his brother about it.
Dean stared back quietly, swallowing hard. He bowed his head, trying to pull away and sit up, but Sam wouldn't let him. Dean knew then, this was one more thing he had to face.
He sniffed, trying not to cry. “Okay, Sam, you win. I can't take any more losses. I love Near, but like a son. You are my heart.”
"You aren't going to lose me, you big goof. Hell, you'd have been right to toss me out on my ass long ago but you didn't. So don't think I'm going anywhere now."
“You've left four times, Sammy. Four times. I tried both ways...let you go, fight to keep you. Can't take another loss, Sammy. Can't”
"Not going to happen. We'll beat each other up and scream before I go. I'm not losing my only family."
“You mean that this time, Sam? Promise?”
"I promise."
“I'm gonna believe that. Just don't lie to me, Sam. If you're gonna leave tell me now. Don't wanna believe and lose it again.”
His arms tightened. "I promise."
“I'll believe one more time, Sam. I believe.” He dozed off to sleep in his brother's arms.
Sam watched over him the whole time.
Watari found them among the trees. “Near caused him to face another nightmare of his, Sam? The fear of losing you over and over?”
He nodded at Watari, not wanting to speak because he knew how precious sleep could be for Dean lately.
Watari noticed and understood. “You may stay here with him, or take him back to his room. You are tired too. You did not sleep last night. You both need a good rest. The bed is big enough I think. The cameras will be on, of course. You could sleep with him, and maybe both of you will get the rest you need. Just a thought” Watari started to walk away, but stopped. “Near is going to be all right. To much medicine. The doses are being reduced.”
Sam nodded, rising and picking his brother up to take him back to his room. Dean needed decent sleep.
His brother clung to him in his sleep as he had the night before, but this time no one was with them, except for the cameras. Sam could deal with that. He got to Dean's room. It took a few tries, but he managed to get the door open and kicked it closed. He arranged Dean on the bed and tucked him in. He thought about leaving, but Dean kept muttering in he sleep. Watari's words came back. They were permission to not leave Dean. Sam undressed down to his boxers and t-shirt, and crawled to the other side of the bed, over his brother's feet. He inched under the covers and lay facing his brother who lay on his left side. He carefully put an arm over the injured side, and dozed off also.
Watari woke them later by bringing in trays with their dinner.
He watched them wake up, it was rather a joy to watch. Sam, typical of Sam, sat up in a jerk, trying to figure out how he'd gotten into Dean's bed. Dean woke slowly, complaining about Sam stealing the blankets as if it was the most natural thing in the world, until his mind woke up. He stared, innocently at his younger brother, and said” Oh. Hi, Sam.”
The old man bit back a chuckle. "Dinner is here for you both."
Dean looked at Watari. “How's Near?”
"Better. The original doctor miscalculated the dose. The new physician has it straightened out now."
“Thank you. Sir.”
"You are welcome. Now, you two come and eat before this gets cold."
Dean smiled, softly. “I'm working on that, Sir. What new foods am I going to learn to like tonight, Sir?”
"Some you already enjoy." Under the covered lids were plates with steak, baked potato with trimmings, broccoli with cheese sauce and a small salad. Dessert was apples with caramel dipping sauce.
“This looks awesome! How well done does a steak have to be meet requirements, and I didn't know I could have all the trimmings on a potato. Thank you. Is this a treat or something?”
"A little of both. The dietary requirements were met in both the cut of meat as well as the type of trimmings used."
“I don't guess it's rare? What kind of trimmings am I getting?”
"Medium well, actually. A bit of pink. Low fat sour cream, butter, as well as cheese."
Dean grinned. “Hey, it's steak and it's still got a little pink. Low fat, I can learn to like, right? Thanks, so much, Sir. You didn't answer. Is this some special occasion?”
"Just a marking of some good steps being taken today."
Dean looked surprised. “Really? That's good news. Isn't it,Sam? Thank you, Sir. That means a lot.”
"You're welcome. Enjoy your meal."
After Watari left, something very typical of Dean happened. He tried to lift his right hand, and suddenly the bandaged left one scratched his head. His brother was thinking. Sam waited in anticipation for whatever would come out of the man's mouth after one of these gestures.
“Sam, you got any idea what path we took today?”
Sam smiled. "We made progress."
“Yeah, but what path? How?” Dean looked at his steak longingly, with the knife in his hand, realizing that Watari did not put these plates together tonight. Was it Matt or Mello playing a joke on him?
He pulled the plate towards him, cutting the food for his brother. "I think we're on the path to healing...no..I know we are."
Dean smiled at his brother gratefully when the plate was put back in front of him. He had his own thoughts on healing but wondered what Sam thought.
“In what way?” He took a bite of the steak and closed his eye for a second, chewing it slowly. Tender and chewy. He liked it.
"We're talking more and listening. Not talking at each other and hearing like we used to."
Dean was quiet for a moment, thinking. “Yeah, Sammy, we are." '
They were both quiet for a while, enjoying the food. “Sam, in the garden, did I lose it?”
He nodded. "Not too bad though." He told him what happened.
“I said all that?”
Another nod as Sam had his mouth full of food.
“Sam, I love you with all my heart. You're my brother, but for healing, I can't guilt trip you into staying anywhere with me. You got to have the right to choose to go or stay. I was dealing with the past. Don't get me wrong. I want that with all my heart, but I am not going to do that.”
"Dean, I love you but shut up. Seriously, man, I want to be here. I want to stay as family and open that shop. You're right, it is my choice and I'm making it. You're stuck with me." He stuck his tongue out at him.
Dean grinned, lightheartedly. “Sounds good. I want that shop too. Badly. Don't ever complain about bad eating habits again. You had food on that tongue.”
"Your fault," he teased.
Sam knew Dean had let things go when he listened to his brother reply to his accusation.
“My fault? You could have swallowed before that. Hell you been hanging around too much with demons. There's no telling where that tongue's been.”
He threw an apple slice at him for that.
Dean picked it up and chewed it. “These are pretty good.”
"Yeah, they are."
Dean placed the lid back on the tray. He got up and went across the room and sat in one of two recliners. “Join me or do you have somewhere to go? Watari made no mention of anything. Has anyone said anything to you?”
"Nope, not a thing.” He sprawled into a chair, getting comfortable.
