Sarah Helps Dean
Dean sighed, got up and headed for the door. He opened it, turned, and stared at the men sitting there. “Thanks.” He walked out and shut the door behind him. Heading down the hall, he went into the main big room. The women were still in in the enclosed patio. He decided to go out the front. Stepping outside, the hunter looked up at the cloudless sky, the stars in abundance, and the shadow of a something flying low...a bird, hunting. He headed towards the western side of the cabin and strolled towards the small wooded area behind the cabin, where the creature had hidden so many months ago.
The doctor shook his head. "Is he always that balled up in stress?"
Sam and Bobby both said, “Yes,” at the same time. Bobby sighed, “Actually, he’d gotten better after that final battle. Dean has always felt responsible for everything. His Dad always placed burdens on him. He takes on everything. Ran every hunt we did. He used to be pretty carefree. He always took a lot on him, but he hid it well. There’s a lot of water under the bridge. He’s dealt with a lot of it. Watari and Ryuzaki know that. But, he still feels responsible for things. When he does let go and is actually carefree, he ends up hurting someone. It scares him. That’s the main problem.”
He was quiet for a moment. "I think he needs to take time to destress..meditation perhaps..something to reach an inner calm."
Bobby looked up at that. “Are you talking tranquilizers? He won’t be able to function on those. What else is available?”
"No, I'm talking meditation, not drugs," the doctor told him.
“Dean’s not going to take that very well, Doc. He’s gonna think we want to drug him or that he’s crazy,” Bobby commented.
"Then someone needs to give him literature on what meditation is and the benefits to it," he said. "Otherwise, he could stress himself into a heart attack."
“Near loaned him candles and a cd to help him relax and sleep. It’s a good idea. He accepted it at the time and it helped him. Watari, do you know of any that can help him?” the older hunter asked.
Sam actually broke his silence. "Sarah does. She practices meditation and the like everyday to keep herself balanced. She could work with him on it."
“Kill two birds with one stone?” the doctor asked.
"Exactly," he said, rising. "I'm going to talk to her about it now."
Everyone rose and followed the taller man out of the room.
Sam went and tugged Sarah to the side, murmuring what was going on and asking if she'd be willing to teach Dean. The woman nodded, hoping it would be a good bonding opportunity for her and her future brother-in-law.
It was getting late and Elsbeth wanted to get Andy home. Doc thought it was a good idea. He told everyone to make sure Dean was at the clinic on the property early on Wednesday and to get him to bed if he was driving to school in the city in the morning.
The group disbanded and Sarah went looking for Dean, keeping alert to any night time critters that could cause harm.
The hunter was about a half mile from the cabin , near the mountain trail L had all but carried him down. He was sitting near a mesquite, leaning back and watching the stars. He looked up as he heard the noise of someone walking the trail.
Sarah didn't say anything, simply taking a seat beside him. He'd chosen a wonderful spot. Dean said nothing, simply moving over to make more room for her. She gazed at him, looking at the profile that was so different from his brother’s. Their parents must have been complete opposites, she thought. Dean could feel her watching him. Finally, he turned his head and stared back at her.
She broke her silence. "You know, I realize your life is really stressful. I didn't realize how bad it had gotten. I was wondering, Dean, what do you know about meditation?"
Dean watched her, thinking about what she had asked. He licked his bottom lip and his mind worked out what was happening. They’d decided he needed this and sent her. Why Sarah? Because he was having problems with her. That would have been Sam.
“They sent you into the lion’s den, Sarah?” Her heart sank, but before before she could come up with a reply, Dean answered her. “Near loaned me some candles and a tape to listen to. It helped me clear my mind and be able to actually sleep the night through. It helped. Why?”
"No they didn't send me to beard the lion in his den," she teased before sobering. "That's actually a form of meditation. Near got you on the right path; I'm glad to know it helped. I know you're stressed, and I want to help. I practice various forms of meditation daily, and I truly believe it can help you. I want to teach you how to do it."
“How will it work, Sarah? Is there room on the schedule to do this? “ Sarah could hear desperation in his voice. Did she also hear a slight glimmer of hope there also?
"Give me fifteen minutes of your day," she told him. "I'll guide you through it and help you learn so that if you feel yourself getting upset or stressed out, you can fall into the breathing to clear your mind so you can approach the problem without the stress."
Dean nodded and she heard his voice break as he said, “Okay.”
She reached out, taking his hand and squeezing gently. "Would you like to try now?"
Dean was nervous and so tired. He almost joked it off and thought, ‘Hell, no, you fool. Don’t upset her. You need her right now, and she wants to help.’
He choked on the one word he could get out, “Please.”
Sarah gave him a sweet smile. "What's one image that you can look at or visualize that does not cause any emotion, simply peace?"
Dean stared at her, speechless. He wracked his brain. He looked up at the sky, and smiled softly. “The stars,” he whispered.
The smile grew wider. "Good, close your eyes, focus that image in your mind and concentrate on that. Breathe in slowly for a four count, hold for a few moments, then let it go." She began falling into the right breathing to demonstrate.
The man beside her closed his eyes and began to breath as she told him. He could see the desert sky in his mind. The stars were large and numerous, and the twinkling was brilliant. He concentrated on the stars and controlled his breathing.
Her voice was soothing. "Let everything go..emotions, thoughts...just focus on the image," she told him. She could see the stress lines starting to ease.
Dean felt a heavy weight roll off his shoulders. He had not realize how badly he was hurting. Every muscle relaxed. Tension eased. His neck and shoulders relaxed. He felt an incredible sense of peace. He felt calm. He kept the breathing up and the sensation of no pain or tenseness was almost overpowering to him. He trembled.
"Hold onto the image, let the void where the stress was fill with peace and calmness. All there is right now is this moment," she told him softly.
Dean did as he was told. He felt his arms and legs go limp. He couldn’t control them. He lay back on the desert sand and kept the breathing going, focusing on the stars in his mind. His body was shaking. The loss of tension and stress completely overpowering him more than he’d thought possible.
Sarah stayed with him, guiding him through the session. She knew that the first times he did this would be rough given how stressed he remained.
The heaviness in his chest was gone, and with it the exhaustion he’d been feeling. The more things eased, the more his body shook. He was not used to this kind of full released. It was something he’d carried his entire life. The calm and the peace was taking his mind over. He’d never allowed anything to have control of his mind in such a way, but he did not fight it.
She smiled, knowing that Dean was doing really well so far.
Within a few minutes, Dean was asleep, the dream of stars still in his mind, and a strong senseation of well-being he’d never experienced since childhood. He’d not had anything to drink and no sex. He just rested peacefully under the mesquite tree.
Sarah giggled, texting Sam where they were and asking for him to help her get Dean to the house. She didn't want to wake him.
Sam was sitting in the big room with Bobby, Lisa, Watari and Ryuzaki. He read the text message and smiled. Looking up, he spoke softly, “It seems to have worked pretty well. Dean’s asleep. Deep sleep. Ryu, would either you or one of the boys want to help me? I don’t want to wake him.”
"I will," he said, rising. "It is good that Sarah's intervention helped."
“Yeah, it is. It’s also good that Dean was willing to accept her help. He was desperate, Ryu.”
"With enough instruction, Dean will be able to utilize this technique for when he feels stressed or overwhelmed," he said as they headed to the location Sarah had given them.
The went out the back patio, across the yard that was surrounded on two sides by the heavy woods. L remembered going after the creature that had attacked Dean. He remembered hearing Dean draw its attention towards himself to protect Mello. Dean could have so easily used that as a reason to keep the boys out of the hunts they did together, but he didn’t. L had wondered about that at times, but he’d never asked the man.
Sam muttered, “There they are.”
Sarah was smiling, staying by her future brother in law, and waved at the two to show she was there.
Both men looked down at the sleeping man. Sam reached down and helped his future bride get off the ground. “He all right? Is it normal to drop of like this? He won’t be able to do this at work or his diesel class if this is going to happen, can he?”
"It's a reaction to letting the stress and emotions disappear, Sam. He's fine," she told him. "He had a lot to let go."
“I thought it took ages to do this. How did he manage it in one sitting?”
"He listened and cooperated fully," she said, watching as Ryuuzaki and Sam managed to pick up the sleeping man.
“It might be easier on him if I took him in my arms and laid his head on my shoulder. If you can help me get him turned, I can do that. I’ve done it when he’s been badly injured. I’ve worked out enough that I’m strong enough. He’s a big man. I’m just bigger” Sam grinned at the smaller man.
Sasquatch," she teased, watching while Ryuuzaki helped move Dean into the right position.
Sam held his brother’s head against one shoulder, and arranged him in his arms with Ryuzaki’s help.
“He used to carry me when I was younger and not quite this tall. I’d be hurt, sick, or just exhausted. I can remember my head on his shoulder. Him putting me to bed, taking off my outer clothes, and tucking me in. I never had many chances to do the same for him. Just a few times. He’s a good man, Sarah. Give him a chance. He’s just never had a chance to learn how to act around real ladies”
"If I wasn't giving him a chance, Sam, I wouldn't have helped him tonight or be teaching him what he needs," she told her fiancé.
“I know that, but he’s gonna get on your nerves. I can promise you. He does mine.” Sam tried to lean over with his burden in his arms and kiss her.
"I'll deal," she told him, kissing him back. "Let's get him to Lisa."
“Yeah, he’s got diesel class all day tomorrow. Bobby and I are running the shop like we always do on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He really needs to be able to sleep the day through, but he won’t. Thanks, Sarah. I love you.”
"I love you too," she said softly, walking beside the men as they headed back.
Lisa had gone to get the bed ready. Watari went to tell Ben it was his bedtime. Bobby watched for the the group heading toward the cabin. He finally saw them and turned on the outside lights and the lights on the patio. Sam stepped into the patio and headed towards the door to the kitchen. Sarah moved ahead to open the door. L moved beyond her to get the door to Dean’s wing.
It was a group effort but one that went smoothly as if it had been done a thousand times before.
Sam never stopped moving, depending upon the two with him to facilitate his continued ability to move forward. When they reached the stairs, Sarah moved in front of him and Ryuzaki behind. Sam slowly took the steps, one foot up, then the other foot up. It was slow but they made it. Sarah went down the hall and knocked on the bedroom door. Lisa opened it and let them in. Sam gently laid his brother on the large bed, and stood up straight, rubbing his arms. He smiled down at the sleeping man. Dean never slept like this.
Sarah tugged her fiancé out of the room, leaving Lisa with the sleeping Dean. Once out of earshot, she told the two men what was on her mind. "Given time, he'll be able to do this anytime he feels upset and be able to live a healthier life."
“Until then?” Sam asked.
"Until then, he'll learn to handle things slowly and I'll teach him the skills he needs."
“Okay. You’re taking on a major job, hon. “ Sam hugged her. “But you’re saving my brother’s life. You know that, don’t you?"
"Nah..just teaching him survival skills and a chance to experience life without being that stressed all the time."
“Well, I know what you’re doing, whether you acknowledge it or not. I love you, Sarah. Thank you for helping him. He means a lot to me..”
"I know, love, but I'm not doing it because he's important to you. I'm doing it because it's the right thing to do," she said, looking at him as they entered their wing.
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