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Sunday, October 21, 2012

Two Points of View

Sam’s Viewpoint:

        I grew up in a hunting family.  The only one who has always been there was Dean.  Hunting was never my choice of a career.  I want a degree, a normal career, a wife, children, and a home.  To be honest, I felt smothered by my brother.  I was always the younger brother.  It was always do what I say.  I got tired of it.  I wanted freedom.  I needed to get away.  Yes, I ran away; more than once.   Dean is Dad’s boy and he does whatever Dad says.  He can’t think for himself.  He’s embarrassing, always needy, and childish.  As we worked together, I realized that he made a lot of sacrifices for me.  I appreciate that more than he’ll ever know, but this year apart gave me the life I really wanted.  I love my brother, but I have needs that I have to fulfill now.  Dean has changed and his tendency towards violence is not normal.  I don’t want to live this kind of life.   I don’t want to hurt my brother, but Dean is not going to let go.  He’s in denial.  I have to tell him I’m going to do what I want with my life now.  I’ve given enough of it to hunting.  I’ve lost everyone that mattered.  He’s not the Dean I remember.  The Dean I knew is gone.  It’s time for me to live my own life.  I’m sorry, Dean.

Dean’s Viewpoint:

        I remember when Mom died and Dad said take Sammy and to protect him.  I’ve done everything I know to keep him safe.  Man, I’ve gone to hell for him.  I won’t talk about the things I’ve had to do to keep him safe, happy, and give him the childhood I never had.  I’d do it again in a heartbeat.  I love Sammy more than anyone or anything.  I’d die for him again.  He knows I always tried to get him back when he disappeared or died.  I tried everything I could come up with to get him out of the cage.  I broke my promise to not try.  After Cass and I disappeared and ended up in Purgatory, one of the things that kept me sane was knowing that Sammy was hunting for me; trying to find out where I was.  It hurt like hell to know he never looked at all.  I’ve lost him.  I know that.  I’ve been trying to keep us hunting, talking like I’ve never done, and I know I’ve changed.  I had to kill unmercifully to survive in Purgatory.  I made deals that were wrong, but they kept me alive.  Yeah, I feel bitter about it.  I’m angry.  I love him.  He’s my brother and the thought of going alone like Purgatory is killing me.  Who do I talk to?  Who do I trust to have my back? My whole life has been Sam and hunting.  Sammy, don’t go!  I can’t do this alone.  Not again.

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