Learning Dean Winchester Chapter Thirteen

Learning Dean Winchester Chapter Thirteen

        Sam thought back over what he had said to his brother as he watched him sleep.  He had told no one that Amelia had given him an ultimatum.  She wanted him instead of Don, but with no chains attached.  He was struggling with the decision:  Amelia and normal or Dean and life as a hunter.

        He loved Amelia.  Life with her the past year had been sad at times, but they had both healed.  He wanted her and that life.  He look at his brother.  Dean had been deeply hurt over his running instead of looking for him.  Sam knew he was wrong for having done so.  He tried to explain it and Dean probably understood now. 

        Life with Jessica had been his only attempt at normalcy.  Azazel was dead.  Why couldn’t he have the life with Amelia?  Dean seemed contented with their lifestyle since he returned from Purgatory.

        Sam leaned his head back and slept.  Another dream entered his trouble thoughts.  He saw himself tied up.  A woman was questioning Dean.  He remembered.  She was a goddess of truth.   Dean talked of how he had cared about Lisa and Ben.  He heard the pain in his brother’s voice as said that he was a killer and could not have a normal life and the family he wanted.  He had to protect them.

        The dream changed and they were sitting in the Impala.  He was angry at Dean for having allowed Castiel to block out Lisa and Ben’s memories of him.  Dean had seen Lisa almost die.  He watched Ben lose the innocence he’d tried to protect.  Sam knew Dean was not thinking clearly when he’d asked the angel to do so.  The Braedens would not know to protect themselves.

        Suddenly a small memory broke free.  Dean was sitting behind the wheel of the car, not wanting to discuss what he’d done.  The man had been choking back the sobs that were attempting to shake his body.

        Dean had loved them.  His brother had tried for normal and carried the pain of that loss alone.

        Sam awakened; his mind troubled.  He looked at the sleeping Dean.  The fever had broken.  He moistened a cloth and bathed his brother’s face.  Amelia didn’t want Dean in their lives.  He knew Lisa let Dean  hunt because Dean needed Sam in his life.  She would give him is life and wait for his returns. They had at least tried.  Amelia would not offer this. 

        “I’ve got to be alone for a while, Dean.  I’ve got to think things through,” Sam spoke quietly, knowing his brother didn’t hear him.

        He turned and walked out of the room.