Monday, November 8, 2010
Supernatural Death Note Chapter 81
Authors: Lady Laran and Tisha Wyman Warnings: Bad language, violence, and some sex. Spoilers: My favorite show is Supernatural. Anyone who knows me will say I am almost obsessed, unless they happen to be Laran, who knows I am. Laran loves Death Note. We both love to write. Never in our wildest dreams did we ever think we'd be writing an alternate universe/crossover between the two. What started as a several chapter story has turned into a novel The story had a life of its own. This saga begins towards the end of season 4 and before L truly got involved with the Death Note. This is a story of healing, family,friendship, humor, and horror. We do not own either show or its characters, but I'd take Dean in a heartbeat. We make no money from them. Thank you for reading. Comments are highly appreciated.
Dean and Lisa Talk.
Dean had had a good time, but it had tired him. Things like this made him realize how weak his body still was, but he had survived for quite a while, just himself against all the rest. He was satisfied that things were getting better. It really did take time though. He soaked in a tub filled with sandalwood scented bath salts. He started to doze off, and had to shake himself awake. He finally let the water out, dried off, walked over to the bed, and climbed in...not even thinking about boxers.
Lisa came to check on him, cuddling with him after putting boxers on him in case Ben came in to cuddle. She wasn't sure if he realized she'd come in. She recognized his need to sleep so much as exhaustion. Watari had mentioned to her that it would take the hunter a while to get his strength back, but she knew he'd had fun. She also knew she was glad she wasn't one of the bad guys.
The woman curled with him, rubbing his back gently. Dean moaned softly as she rubbed his back. She remembered that he'd injured it the day before. She checked it. The bruises were bad but his actions that day proved he could handle the pain from it and that it was not seriously debilitating to him.
She found some deep heating rub and began working on the injured areas again, wanting to help him relax and get out of pain quickly. Dean moaned softly, and whispered, “Don't stop, please.”
"I'm not going to," she murmured. "Just relax." He felt her start to massage his butt where he had taken the brunt of the fall. He stiffened for a moment. “I'm not wearing anything, Lisa.”
"Yes you are," she laughed softly. Even in his exhaustion, Dean was a flirter. A slight smirk quirked one lip. “It's been ten years. I still look good to you?”
"Very sexy and handsome, Dean. I'm a very lucky lady," Lisa smiled.
“I'm the lucky one, Lisa. You are so beautiful and incredibly hot, and I can talk to you about anything. I've never had that with a woman who actually loved me and wanted me to stay. That's important to me.”
Her smile grew brighter even as her hands continued to work out the knots in his back.
“You've got magic hands, hon.”
Dean noticed that is was dark. “I've been sleeping for a while? What time is it?”
"After nine," she said with a smile.
“Damn. I guess I over did it today.” He got that lazy smile that sent such a thrill through her. “It was fun, though. I liked straddling you, soaking you down, and kissing you like that. Hated having to run off though.”
She laughed, still working on his back. "I think someone likes the idea of getting me all wet."
The smile returned, and the lazy whisper responded, “Yeah, but your head was the wrong place I'd like to see wet.”
A light tap was given against the back of his head. "Pervert," Lisa teased.
The hazel eyes looked serious for a moment as he looked into her eyes, trying to read her. “Would you rather I wasn't? I can be if you prefer it. It might be hard around you, and that's no pun intended, but I can be that if you need it from me.”
"You need to be yourself, Dean. You can't change simply because you think this is what I want."
“I want you to be comfortable around me. Damn, it's been ten years since we were even in the same bed together. I joke a lot, when I'm playing around, but I joke also when I'm afraid. I'm not gonna push you, but I will joke. If the joking is offensive, I won't do it. I just need to know what won't push you away. I like having you here with me.”
"And I like being with you, Dean." She ruffled his hair. "Just give it time."
“Lisa, I'm not asking for it. I do want it. You're beautiful and I love you, but I can wait. Sometimes, you turn me on even when you're not trying. I joke because it's a way of release of pent up emotions and needs. I just need to know if the jokes bother you.”
"And I'll tell you if something bugs me. I promise," she said seriously.
“Then, it was teasing when you called me a pervert? I hate to tell you this, but I am one.”
Lisa giggled. "I hate to tell you this...but I knew that."
Dean smiled again, “How long have you known that?”
She gave another giggle. "Since I've known you."
“Is that why I got to stay the whole weekend? You were the most incredible woman I'd ever been with. I never forgot you. When I met you again, I fell in love with you. “
Her fingers ruffled his hair. "Despite being a pervert, you're a gentle person who cares so much for the people around you."
He pulled her head down toward him, his lips gently caressing hers. He leaned his forehead against hers and sighed. “I love you, Lisa.”
"I love you too, Dean," she said, kissing him back.
“You may think is is crazy, but I have a question about Ben's birthday party last year.”
“The women who were there...your friends? They acted like they knew me. I swear one of them said that's Dean. Someone said who? They said Dean. Someone else said the Dean? What have you told them? They were looking me up and down like guys do a really hot girl. They started whispering, giggling, and watching me closely.”
She blushed. "Yeah..they were good friends of mine and I did talk about you."
“Damn, you would think they thought I was a stud or was a sex......toy? Lisa? What did you tell them?”
"That you were a kind and giving lover..most of them had experiences that weren't as wonderful as mine. I did tell them that it was incredible. You were, Dean."
“I'm glad that's all, because we had the wildest weekend I'd ever experienced in my life. Nothing has ever compared to it. My entire life was waiting for that time with you and remembering afterward. I've had one nighters, Lisa, after you, but only to hide the pain I go through. To forget things. I didn't think I could ever have this. I wanted you to know that you've been the only one I have ever loved this deeply.”
She smiled, pressing a kiss to his lips before resuming work on his back. "Well, you do now."
“Promise me that if you ever want to know things about me, you'll just ask? I've told Ryuuzaki I wouldn't lie or keep things from those I love ever again. If you feel you can't ask, then go to Sam or Bobby. They both know pretty much everything there is know about me. I'd still rather you feel you can come to me. Okay?”
"As long as you do the same..either about me or Ben or if you simply need someone to talk to.”
“I will. Wanna play twenty questions about each other?” Dean thought that he must have lost mind doing that, but he wanted everything open between them. Let things come as they come.
"All right, if you feel comfortable with that."
“Lisa, I'd rather hide it all, but I can't do that to us. I've had nightmares in my life, and you have the right know those things. There may be discomfort for both of us. I hope not, but you're marrying me. It's your right to know.”
She smiled sweetly. "That sounds good. You want to start?"
“When did you decide you were in love with me?”
"By Saturday afternoon," she said with a grin. "You surprised me with that wonderful lunch, remember?"
“Yeah, I grilled steaks, made baked potatoes, and sauteed asparagus from a recipe you had in a cookbook. I remember sitting on the floor in your studio, both of us barely dressed, drinking wine and eating that meal.”
"You showed that you cared, had such a romantic streak in you.”
“Yeah, but I was always so stupid, pure testosterone all the time. I never thought of that as romantic. Never thought I was. It just seemed the right thing to do. I always hid behind the macho, to keep from getting hurt, and I have been, but it was after you. She ended up doing it to me twice.”
I saw her again after she hurt me the first time. The spark was still there, but she told me she wanted no part of me, that I'd get her killed. When I saw you again, I chased you away, because I was afraid Cassie was right, but I'd fallen in love with you. When you told me Ben wasn't mine, it hurt. I wanted him. I wanted something from us."
"Cassie was afraid, Dean. I think she's afraid of commitment, of what it would mean to be with someone as strong as you are. Some women are intimidated by strength like yours."
“I think that sex with her was more of a control issue. With you, it was passionate, wild, and we both shared in it. I loved that.I'll tell you a secret. That day I came back, I wanted to have that again. Something bad was about to happen, and I wanted that one good memory. It was better that we didn't get to. There was Ben. Without it, I learned you, and I loved you.”
"I'm glad. I wanted you to see him but had no means of contacting you at all," she murmured, hands massaging his back still.
“I wasn't ready for that until then. I wish I had been though. There were too many family problems. My whole life has been family problems. I'm so glad to finally have you and Ben.”
Lisa was thinking for a moment. "Have you given thought as to having more children in the future?"
“Oh yeah. I'd have as many as you will let me have. I've missed everything about raising Ben. I never got feed him, change a diaper, take him for a walk in a stroller, get his first hair cut, walking the floor with him when he's not feeling well and won't stop crying, cutting his first tooth, losing his first tooth, and I never got to hand out cigars and tell everyone at the hospital that he was mine. I never saw his first steps, or took off work to see his first day at school. I've never met his teachers, or helped with little league. Yeah, I want kids.”
She smiled at that, feeling happy. "Then we'll get that chance." Dean nodded and smiled at her.
"Yup," Lisa said.
“This is a hard one. When you found out you were pregnant, what did you feel?”
"Happy," she said with a smile. "I loved the idea of bringing new life into the world. I was a bit scared too."
“Were you angry at me at all for leaving you in that fix? Ben had no father. You were in it all alone.”
"No, I wasn't angry. It's not as if we knew it would happen. I had a feeling that if you did know, you'd be there."
“Yeah, it might have been difficult, but I'd have been there.”
"I know. My question?"
“Yeah, it is.”
"Your dream..the designing of cars..how long have you wanted this?"
“I saw a guy driving one of those small hybrid things I think. I knew he could afford to drive it just fine, but then he looked at my baby. There was such a look of envy on his face. I realized that big cars are a status symbol for men, and some women. I couldn't understand why a car and an engine couldn't be designed that would be fuel efficient. I knew it could be done. That was my dream. Not real long ago. I've changed, you know?”
"You have, and I admire the ideas you have. A lot of people drive tiny cars, which can't be safe, and it's sad because the bigger ones do look nicer."
“I wouldn't trade my baby for the world. Everyone should be able to own something like her...big, beautiful, but inexpensive. I've studied some about bio-fuels. They are experimenting with one right now that would be perfect if it works.”
"Did you say Bobby owned and ran a junkyard?"
“Yeah, in South Dakota, but I'm not moving up there. I've got a place....well, I will. Sam and I. It's in west Texas. Dean named the town where they would be near...the town Lisa had lived in. Dean knewthis. “I was working a murder case there. There was this cabin up in mountains. Ryuuzaki said L bought with me in mind. Sam and I plan on major addons for all of us to have the place.”
"Well, you could look at the cars there and get ideas from styles that you knew were popular when introduced and are very classy," she suggested.
“Yeah, but I have to think of aerodynamics too. I will get up there and look around.”
She smiled. "I think you can come up with a lot. Ben has a lot of interest in mechanics and sciences, so you'll have a helper."
Dean's eyes lit up at the piece of information about his son. He looked excited. “That's fantastic. I'll help him learn whatever he wants to learn.”
"Go for it."
“What's your best memory and your worst memory in your life?”
"Best memory is when Ben was born. I think the worst was getting stalked like that and no idea how to find you. I hated having to pull him away from his friends." She looked a little scared.
“I tried to keep an eye on you but it was hard sometimes. I didn't know about the stalker, but I knew knew you'd moved. I hunted everywhere for you. Your family cussed me out...said it was my fault you'd disappeared. I didn't know they knew about me. I was scared about you. I finally told Ryuuzaki and he told me where you were.”
"He works for the top detective in the world, I'm told."
“He wouldn't let me contact you or get you. It was killing me inside. I didn't know what name you were using and I was scared you were still being stalked. I'd never felt so helpless in my life.”
"I wonder why."
“He's not very emotional...never been in love. Doesn't understand it. Thought you'd be in the way of me finishing this hunt for Lilith. Her death is the beginning of my life.”
"Well, in a way, I can understand his concerns. We can be a distraction at times."
“No, hon. You're my reason for winning this...a life with you.”
She patted his back. "Thanks, baby."
“You're welcome, hon. Your question?”
"Hmmm....let's see. The silliest thing you've ever done."
“In my right mind?”
"You mean there were things done not in your right mind?"
'How about both."
“Silly as in funny...or just plain the dumbest thing I've ever done?”
She giggled. "How about both on that?"
“Lisa, some of this might be funny and light hearted, but some of it won't be. Okay?”
“The silliest thing I did in my right mind was agree to have a murder confession recorded. I told them what I liked to do on a date, my sign, all kinds of crap. The silliest thing I did not in my right mind was scream bloody murder in terror at a cat in a locker. I had ghost fever. It makes you afraid of everything.”
She gave a soft laugh. "What is it with you and cats?"
“I don't know, but I won't own one. The dumbest things. I'd rather do one at a time because you're gonna be asking all kinds of things after you freak out.”
"Okay," she giggled. "You know, Ben's been asking for a pet."
“Dogs. Lots of dogs. We'll rescue them from a shelter.”
Dean was quiet for a minute and seemed to shake a little. Lisa grew still, realizing he was no longer joking with her.
“Lisa, you won't be laughing or giggling at these, and I'm sorry. You wanted dumb. These two messed me up big time. Afterwards, I'll give you one more silly thing. Okay?”
She rubbed his hair, trying to calm him down.
“I'll call this one the dumb thing when I was in my right mind. I sold my soul to raise Sam from the dead. I ended up in hell.”
Lisa froze at that, simply listening.
“You don't want to yell at me? Everyone else has, except Watari and Ryuuzaki.”
"Did you feel it was the right thing to do at the time, even if you look back on it and regret it now?"
“Yeah, I couldn't live without him. The demon who brought this on asked me if I was sure if what I brought back was all Sam. Sometimes, I'm not sure, but I hope so. One month in hell is ten years, Lisa. It was my worst nightmare. They broke me, and I came down off the rack and I did the same thing they did and I liked it. Getting to give back what I'd been suffering. It felt good. Ryuuzaki said I'm human. He said I wasn't like the rest of them. I did not lose my humanity. Damn. I'm sorry, Lisa. I'm not that strong a guy.”
She gently tapped the back of his head. "Love, you're human. Humans break. You are the strongest person I know."
“You really believe that? You don't think worse of me?”
"No, love, I don't think the worst of you."
“Thank you. Lisa, the other one...I only talked about it once. The other two times, Bobby and Sam saw it on a video. You're the only other person I will tell this to face to face. It's hard. Okay?”
"You know I'm here to listen. If it's too hard, Dean, we can talk about it when you're ready."
“No, you're gonna be my wife....closer to me then Sam and Bobby. Ryuuzaki said family needs to know and understand. Okay? I think I went absolutely crazy from fear and panic. I didn't know what to do. My only thought was do what they asked and protect Sammy and not let anybody know.”
Lisa shifted their position so his head was in her lap, fingers carding through his hair to comfort him.
“I was fifteen, I think. It's such a mess in my mind. Dad was supposed to leave for a few weeks but he stayed gone a long time. I was told we were to stay put. We were facing eviction. There was no food. Sam needed things for school, and with winter coming, he needed warmer clothes. I went to a pool hall and played for four hours and I earned fifteen hundred dollars. That would keep us til Dad got back. I didn't think I needed to call Bobby or Pastor Jim. I could do this.”
She listened, keeping the touch comforting and soothing.
“It was dark and I walking as fast as I could because it was a bad neighborhood. Dad never really put us in good ones very often. He said he couldn't afford to do that. Someone grabbed me from behind. I reached for a knife but he had my other arm behind me and almost broke it. He yelled for help and there were others. I recognized a voice. It was the guys I played pool with. I offered the money back, but they told me I had to earn it. I told them I'd beat them in a fair game. They pushed me to my knees. They made me give all of them....I took them in my mouth. It was a form of rape, but all I could think of was Sam. Getting home to him and keeping that money.”
"Oh baby," she murmured softly.
“They told me they were there this same night every week, and I was to come back and play pool and they'd let me win. I was take care of them in the restroom afterward. They threatened Sam, so I did it week after f'ing week. Dad didn't come and take us away. I wanted to call Bobby or Pastor Jim, but I'd have to tell them what I was doing to earn the money. I used the money, Lisa. I couldn't tell them I was whoring.
"Dean, this wasn't your fault, you know that right?"
“I know. Everyone has told me that, and I'm working on it. I wanted Dad to come and save me from the nightmare. Finally, he showed up after I had gone to the pool hall. He showed up looking for me and he was pissed that I'd left Sam alone. Sam told him I'd been earning the money some how. He told him I'd come home crying each night I disappeared. Dad thought the worse and he was right.”
"He was so wrong to leave you in that position and got angry for the wrong reason, love."
“I know, hon. That night they were tired of losing to me and they thought I owed them more. They dragged me upstairs, and they …..they hurt me real bad. Dad showed up, and I was so glad to see him. I thought he'd kill every single one of them for hurting me. He opened the door and they were already through. I was bleeding pretty bad and they'd beat me too. I was on the bed and it was covered with …..it was covered. They were throwing a hundred dollars each on the bed because I'd never done it before and that seemed special to them. Dad called me a whore, he grabbed my clothes and stuff, and he walked away and left me there.”
She growled. "That asshole."
“It was cold that night, and I walked barefoot in a blanket back to the motel. I picked the lock with a hairpin I found on the ground. There was no food, no money, no Dad, and no Sam. They'd gone and taken everything with them. I had no clothes or anything. I crawled onto my bed, covered myself in the blanket, and I waited....for a week. I thought about killing myself, but there was Sammy and I took care of him. I couldn't leave him to Dad.”
Her eyes were full of anger and tears.
“Dad came back without Sam. He called me a lot of bad names, He took his belt off and he beat me real bad. Some of my bruises were almost gone, but he gave me a lot more. He got a brush and dish soap, he used it to clean my mouth and my …..the rest of me. I bled worse then when they took me. He threw some tennis shoes and clothes at me and said come on. He didn't feed me. We drove for three days to Bobby's. He thought I'd been hurt in a hunt. I couldn't tell him. I thought he'd think the same thing as Dad. He started training Sam and told me to have his back because it was my fault he was hunting.”
"I can't believe he would do something like this," she told him. "if he wasn't gone, I'd beat the hell out of him."
“He had me by the balls, Lisa. I couldn't quit or he'd tell Sam, Bobby, and Pastor Jim. I had no one I could tell the truth to. My mind was so messed up during that. I should have called Bobby or Pastor Jim, but I was fifteen, and I was scared. I think that's why I sold my soul to save Sam. It screwed me royal, but it was important to me that I do something right. That I not fail. It meant something to me. If Sam died, then I'd failed and what I went through was for nothing.”
"Dean, look at me."
The hazel eyes looking into angry brown ones.
"You did nothing wrong outside of not telling Bobby or Pastor Jim. You did what you had to do to protect your brother.Your father should not have laid that burden on your shoulders, you were too young for that. All of this was his responsibility." She caressed his face.
“Lisa, I've had that burden since I was four years old. I know all that you are saying is true. I honestly do because everyone has told me that. I believe it in my mind. I'm trying to reach my heart with it. I have a mantra I say all the time. I'm not a whore, It's not my fault, and I am worthy. I figure that one of these days, it'll make sense and I'll really believe it. I just wanted you to know that I've told you more then the others know. I could talk easier to you.”
"You're not a whore and you are very worthy," she said, eyes gentle.
“It means more coming from you. Thank you. Dean turned on his side and wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her tightly. “I love you, Lisa. Thank you for loving me.”
"I love you too, Dean."
“I know and I am eternally grateful. You'll never know how much because I don't know how to tell you, but you have all of me, heart and soul.”
She caressed his face. "And I will treasure it very much, Dean."
The hunter turned back over and an awe filled face stared up at her. “No one's ever told me that before. I've always hidden things inside. Ryuuzaki and Watari have dug a lot of them out of me. It's been hard, but it's been worth it just to hear those words. Thank you.”
"Welcome sweetie," she leaned down and kissed him. His lips met hers, his tongue barely touching her lips in a gentle caress. He pulled her bottom lip into his mouth and nipped it softly, barely sucking it. She could feel his breath on her face as he his mouth worshiped hers. She realized that Dean had learned a lot of things in the years they'd been apart. She trembled slightly, wondering what else he'd learned.
When the kiss ended, she stroked his face with a soft smile.
“I think I've had enough of twenty questions for one night. But I promised one more silly. I can't hold a tune at all. Sammy is worse. We were looking for an evil Santa. We thought we'd found him and followed him to his trailer. We heard noises that didn't sound good so we broke through his front door. He was drunk and watching something on TV. He stared at us and we started singing Silent Night, badly off key and he started laughing and singing it with us. The things we have to do.”
She giggled at that. "Ben is that way too."
Lisa saw the smile go back to Dean's eyes. “Let's get some sleep. I hope he's over all the nausea and sugar rush before he joins us.” He grabbed her and pulled her down next to him.
She laughed and cuddled into him. "I'm hoping he'll torment the others."
“Well, you know what they say, hon...one man's kid is another man's poison.” Dean cuddle her closed and started to drift back off to sleep.
Another laugh came from her before she drifted to sleep as well