Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Supernatural Death Note Chapter 25
Authors: Lady Laran and Tisha Wyman Warnings: Bad language, violence, and some sex. Spoilers: My favorite show is Supernatural. Anyone who knows me will say I am almost obsessed, unless they happen to be Laran, who knows I am. Laran loves Death Note. We both love to write. Never in our wildest dreams did we ever think we'd be writing an alternate universe/crossover between the two. What started as a several chapter story has turned into a novel The story had a life of its own. This saga begins towards the end of season 4 and before L truly got involved with the Death Note. This is a story of healing, family,friendship, humor, and horror. We do not own either show or its characters, but I'd take Dean in a heartbeat. We make no money from them. Thank you for reading. Comments are highly appreciated.
Venting and Remembering (One)
Dean slowly opened one of the doors, and entered. The room was large, walls were a light gray, with a darker gray carpet. There was nothing in the room except himself. He shut the door behind him and stood by the door, wondering why in the world he was fixing to start session one of hell.
'It's for your own good, Dean,' he thought to himself. 'Yeah,' his mind responded.
The hunter grinned, 'Damn! Maybe I do need this. I'm answering myself.'
Near waited for the door to close before he padded away on socked feet.
Dean walked around the room like a caged lion at first, then calm set in for a few minutes. He went towards the far wall and slowly eased himself down to where he was sitting, legs outstretched, back against the wall. He knew he had not recovered enough to stand for any length of time.
He leaned his head back as far as he could, remembering back to the night his mother died. Four year old Dean, hearing his Mother talk to someone in baby Sammy's room, climbing out of bed to go to the nursery and check. Seeing the man by the bed, and thinking it was his Dad. Remembering seeing the yellow eyes. He hadn't remembered that before. What the hell? His Mom acting like she knew him. Her going up the wall. Her stomach....oh God! Dean winced and sobbed for a second. Her stomach ripping open, and the screams! The screams were horrid. He heard his Dad running up the stairs screaming, “Mary!” He moved out of the way, watching his mother. His Dad did not see her. He was checking Sammy. Then the blood dripping.
“Oh, God!” Dean cried out. “Mom!” She caught on fire. He remembered how terrified he was. It was all he could see, hear, and smell for months. No one knew he'd seen anything. Dad picking up Sammy and putting him in his arms and telling him to not look back, but take Sammy out of the house, and run. Protect him.
“That's why I protect him? Dad, you gave him to me. It was to get him out of the house, but you put so much more into it later. What the hell were you thinking, giving a life burden to a four year old? Damn it, Dad! You could have told me later, that you would take over. Hell, you never took over.”
Going to his Aunt's house in Lawrence. Her family being freaked out because he didn't talk. Hearing his Uncle say that they couldn't keep him there. They'd keep Sammy but Dean would have to leave. Running to Sammy and not letting anyone near him. Dad calling someone, picking them up and driving a long ways. Not leaving Sammy's side. Refusing to eat and drink. Dad getting angry at him. Pulling into Bobby's place, and sanctuary.
Tears were flowing down Dean's face, as he remembered these things. Bobby looking at Sammy in Dad's arms. Why was Dad holding Sammy? “It's my job,” came as a whisper from the hunter's lips. Shaking began to start. Dean looked up into Bobby's eyes, seeing kindness and tears? Bobby'd been crying? He hadn't remembered that either. Bobby kneeling down and trying to talk to him. Not being able to say a word. The terror. Mustn't talk. It will find Sammy and me. “Oh, God, he leaned over Sammy,” Dean choked.
Dad yelling at him to answer Bobby. The argument between the men. Bobby saying he'd keep the boys while John learned the ropes of hunting. Dad leaving without saying anything to him The terror that went through him when he heard the Impala leave. He'd lost both his Mom and Dad.
“Don't go!” Dean screamed a gut wrenching cry. He rolled over onto his left side, going into a fetal position, and the crying started in earnest. Four year old Dean had lost both parents. He honestly didn't understand that until now. What came back wasn't Dad.
The crying was desperate, heartbreaking, and a release. The memories kept tearing at him, over and over. The demon leaning over Sam. “Oh God, why didn't I remember that? Why?”
He screamed out in pain, anger, and despair. Wanting it to go away, but not sure how to do so. He wept bitterly for a long time. Finally, he began to calm down a little. Gentle sobs taking over for the more violent and painful cries and floods of tears.
He felt exhausted, nauseated, and he was starting to hurt. His bleared eyes looked across the room at the panic button. He tried to get up but couldn't. The right side hindering any motion in his position.
His throat was sore again. A slight whisper could barely be heard. “If anyone is there. Help, please.” He lay back on his side, emotionally drained, no longer thinking clearly.
There was a knock on the door a short while later, Bobby poking his head in. The older man's eyes widened and he hurried to his surrogate son's side. "It's all right, Son."
“Bobby? Dad and Mom left us. He never even tried to find out why I didn't talk. Damn it, Bobby. He left me to deal alone, and he sure as hell never helped take care of Sammy. I learned everything from watching you. He didn't want me, Bobby. He would hold Sammy when he stopped by those two years. He hardly even talked to me. Why, Bobby? What did I do to him?”
His voice was kind though gruff. "From what I understand, he looked at you and saw Mary."
Dean laid his head onto the carpet and wept again. “I saw all of it, Bobby. Everything. The yellow-eyed demon leaning over Sammy. Mom seeming to know him. Oh God, everything.”
"It ain't your fault, Dean. Understand me, boy? It ain't your fault."
“I watched her burst open and catch fire. I couldn't help, Bobby. I was four years old, and I watched her die. My Mom....I watched her die.” Dean's voice choked on the tears and he was shuddering. “Oh God, I watched her die, and I couldn't tell anyone about it. Sam knew I saw some of it but not what I saw. I told no one. I couldn't.”
He rubbed Dean's back. "Not your fault. You were a little boy who didn't know how to handle it. God, Dean, I don't know anyone who could survive that as well as you have."
Dean halfway lifted his head, his eyes pleading, “Bobby, my not remembering the demon leaning over him, didn't cause Sammy's problems, did it? If everyone had known, would it have made a difference?”
He shook his head. "Nope, hells, it could've meant anything. So you don't need to worry over it."
Dean sobbed, and sniffed, trying to sit back up. “Damn it, Bobby. I'm not gonna be able to get back up. Hadn't thought of that. Can you get some help? With my shoulder and stuff like this, I'm a dead weight. It'd be too much for you alone.”
Bobby nodded. "I'll be right back."
Dean nodded, tears still flowing down his face. “Thanks, Bobby, “ he choked out.
He gave a smile and hurried out. A few moments later, Matt and Mello followed him in and carefully helped Dean to his feet.
Dean never wanted to appear in this position before these particular two boys. He knew they respected a tough kind of guy and seeing him like this had probably ruined any chance he had of keeping their respect. Tears were still flowing. He nodded his thanks and leaned into the wall to hide his face from them. He shoulders still shaking.
Mello pressed a bar of chocolate into his hand, then murmured. "We live in an orphanage, Dean, when we're not with L. We're the last people to think badly of you for this. Least you didn't break anything."
Dean turned, his face splotchy. “I thought you lived with L and Watari? What did you break?”
Matt laughed. "Watari runs an orphanage. We lived there until L deemed us ready to come and help him." The blond blushed, rubbing the back of his head. "Two televisions and three windows."
Dean stared in disbelief for a minute. Slowly, his smirk showed up, and then his head went back in laughter. Where he had been shaking in tears, he was doing the same in laughter.
The goggle wearing teenager laughed. "All orphans react negatively at some point or other. Even with all the care of the staff and Watari's love, we all know something is missing and it hurts. Even Near knows the lack, though he shuts down further instead of reacting. This is not new to us and not a bad thing for us to see. Just means you're as human and emotional as the rest of us."
Dean smiled softly, realizing what they'd done to help him. “I intentionally broke my Impala.”
The two stared at each other, then back at him. "NO WAY!" The shout was unified. "You destroyed that pretty little thing?"
“Yeah, I beat it to a pulp. Anger and grief.”
Mello shrugged, then grinned. "It works."
“Yeah, what you see now, I rebuilt.”
"Nice," he grinned even wider.
“Thanks. I think I'd better head back to my room. First day up and really moving. I'm feeling tired.” They all headed towards the door and down the hallway.
"Yeah, don't want L after you for not taking care of yourself," the red head teased.
“That bad a taskmaster, huh?”
"He can be, but fair too," Mello answered. "He expects nothing but your best. And it's a good habit to fall into."
“I guess it would be.” It was a ways from Dean's room to the room he'd had treatment in. He didn't realize he was walking slower at first. He kept up banter with the two boys, feeling Bobby's eyes on him. They'd turned a corner when the dizziness hit. He stopped.
“Guys, I think I may have just pissed off L.” He leaned against the wall to steady himself, then slid down it.
Mello, Matt and Bobby managed to keep him from hitting the floor and guided him to his room and into bed. "You did too much today, idjit," was the older man's comment.
“I did what I had to do, Bobby. Would you guys make sure L and Watari know I had the first treatment. I'd like to have the sessions that go with it. When they can make time, I'd appreciate it.”
"Will do," Matt chimed. "For now, you need to rest. Do you need anything before we go?"
“Just sleep, I think. I feel exhausted. I hurt some, but it always does. Night, guys, and thanks. Night, Bobby. Thank you, too.”
"Welcome, Dean. Get some sleep," the man stated before herding the teens out to let the other rest.
Dean didn't even try taking anything off. He lay on top of the covers and was out in seconds.