Friday, September 24, 2010
Supernatural Death Note Chapter 35
Authors: Lady Laran and Tisha Wyman Warnings: Bad language, violence, and some sex. Spoilers: My favorite show is Supernatural. Anyone who knows me will say I am almost obsessed, unless they happen to be Laran, who knows I am. Laran loves Death Note. We both love to write. Never in our wildest dreams did we ever think we'd be writing an alternate universe/crossover between the two. What started as a several chapter story has turned into a novel The story had a life of its own. This saga begins towards the end of season 4 and before L truly got involved with the Death Note. This is a story of healing, family,friendship, humor, and horror. We do not own either show or its characters, but I'd take Dean in a heartbeat. We make no money from them. Thank you for reading. Comments are highly appreciated.
Pure exhaustion and emotional fatigue hit Dean hard. Shortly,his head was against Sam's chest and he slept. The younger brother looked down at him in almost awe.
“It's always been the other way around...him holding me, protecting me, helping me...taking care of me. This is the first time I've been able to do something for him. Actually do something. It feels so good. Damn it, when he wakes up, he won't let me again.”
The computer was shut down as Watari spoke. "You will have a lot of work to do, Samuel. With him and with yourself. You have buried yourself in a lot of emotional baggage, baggage that could have been dealt with sooner. You are intelligent; we've seen your scores at Stanford. My next words are not to shame but to help you understand. You fought to free yourself from your family's history, yet you were the one to fall into darkness faster. This needs correcting."
Sam looked up and listened to what the other man had to say. He held his unconscious brother close to him. “Can you help him let me help him? It's been one-sided for too damn long. He's more vulnerable then he'll ever admit to, and I can help. That's been one hell of a problem. He has so seldom really asked for help. Once or twice is all. He takes the blame for every damn thing too. He always feels guilty. He's terrified of me leaving him. It's because he's never really known family, love, and being cared for He needs it or he won't heal.”
“And you're right, I'm the one that fell, not Dean. All the things I said to him were wrong. Dean has an innate sense of what is right and wrong. I'm not talking drinking, cussing, or sex. I'm talking innate here. He'll give his life for someone. He's stronger then he believes and I ever realized. He just pushes himself til something like this happens. It will embarrass him that he needed me. I want that to stop so bad.”
L looked at Watari, who nodded and the detective spoke. "I have already offered my services to your brother. Watari and I both hold degrees in psychology. I am no therapist; my degree is used for profiling but I have enough experience to help you both. As does he. You will not like me; I can tell you that now. I will hold a mirror in front of you and make you see what you have become. From there, Watari and I will teach you life skills..healthy ones this time. Joint sessions with your brother will happen as well. I will not lie to you, Samuel. You have hurt him..badly. Through it all though, he has wanted you to be healthy."
“It's what I mean. It's always me on his mind. He doesn't think he's worth saving. Do you realize that Dad, and Mom's family made him feel that he was worthless except for what Dad told him to do. Dean's not a soldier although he's damn good at it. He doesn't have the heart to be what he is. It tears him up inside and there's no release for him. No joy or happiness. I've made his life hell since Dad and I started our war. I wonder if I'd talked to him with respect and love and just discussed things, if things would have been different. I tended to argue a lot. He didn't act like Dad very often, but when he did, he was worse then Dad.”
"There is an old saying..if the stick doesn't work, try the carrot. I believe you will find that Dean will be more approachable with the carrot approach."
“Should I just be open with him and tell him how I feel, or should this carrot be sneaky? Get his advice, listen, offer my opinion, listen to him and not get mad if he doesn't like my opinion? Try to hold normal conversations? Hell, we've so seldom done that. Nice times when we did though.”
As hurt as he is, I'd like to help him where I can. I realize you have a routine, but I've tended him before when he was hurt. He is a bad patient by the way. Teach me how to do it so he won't be snappy at me but accept me and what I can offer him.”
"I will have to ask him first," L answered. "You did a lot of damage by using your talents on him. If you are put to assist in his care, you will not be unattended."
“That's fair. I just want to start over with my brother. My talents were used to mentally and emotionally degrade him. I know that.”
The detective nodded. "Do not approach him until Watari and I have talked to him about this. Once we have his answer, we can go from there."
Sam looked sad, “I agree. I put him in that spot by not helping him deal with what happened in hell. I kept telling him he was weak and 'I didn;t need him.' How stupid can one man be? I'm just afraid he'll say no.” Sam looked down at the head burrowed into his chest, the bandaged arm as close to him as the man could bring it. He looked back up at L, tears in his eyes, but hope there also, “Maybe he will.”
"He might. Your brother is an open hearted individual." That much had been shown by the bond he'd developed with the three heirs.
Yeah, but I chose a demon over him. A demon? My doing that led to what she did to him, thinking I'd support it, get angry, and finish him. I allowed her to think I'd do that.”
L chuckled. "Mello and Matt pulled a gun on him during the first meeting. Yet he allows them around. Oh, word of warning. Bobby Singer is here as well and he knows."
Sam smiled at the boys and the guns. “I'm surprised Dean didn't try to knock the shit out of them. Bobby's here? Well, he's gonna disown me after he knocks the shit out of me.”
Watari shook his head. He'd spent time with the man. "Perhaps, perhaps not. But that is one relationship you will need to repair as well."
“I know he cares about me, but Dean is his special one. I'm glad too, because Dean needed it. Bobby, and Ellen and Jo Harvelle watched over him because they really saw who he was. I know Dean so well, and he knows me. Crazy things about each other.. But, we really don't know each other at all.”
"You have time now. There are things to do before this case is closed and you two are deemed healthy enough to take up whatever you wish to do."
“I'm not even one hundred percent sure what this case turned into. It's not finished?”
"There's some loose ends to tie up," Watari answered.
“I guess you need Dean for that. Where are we right now? Are we still in the town where it all happened? The Impala is loaded with an arsenal in its trunk. Don't know if you realize that. Is it safe?”
"The vehicle is in the garage. We are in another location entirely," L answered, unwrapping a sucker.
Sam nodded, realizing he wouldn't get a straight answer. He was the enemy at this time. L would protect his own, and Sam realized, Dean had somehow managed to become one of L and Watari's own. He wondered how that could have happened.
"Both of you need to rest. Samuel, you will be moved to another bedroom but be warned, you will be under surveillance until we are certain you are trustworthy again."
Sam nodded eagerly. “I understand. Look, he's still out cold. Exhaustion. I can carry him. I've done it lots of times before when he's been badly injured. We don't have to wake him.”
"Good. Mello will show you where to take him." Dark eyes looked at the blond. "5A." Mello nodded. "Understood."
Sam put an arm under his brother, then the other under his head, holding him close to his chest so his right side was facing upwards. He put one knee under himself, foot down, and used the other to push out and up. He wobbled a little. Dean may appear small next to him, but he wasn't a small man. Sam got his balance, and arranged his brother better in his arms. “Okay, lead the way.”
The blond didn't say anything, simply led him out.
Sam accepted the treatment, knowing he had a long way to go to prove himself. He would though. He wanted his relationships with friends and family back. He knew Dean would not trust after the betrayal with Ruby. Sam's stubbornness and determination to win this battle was strong. He wanted Dean back in his life where he belonged. He should never have driven him away with his attitude of superiority. What a fool he'd been.
Near passed him and reported the situation, Matt at his side. Mello snickered when he heard the final portion. "Near is NOT cleaning that mess."
Sam thought to himself, that it would probably fall to him. What a situation.
The blond shook his head with a grin, leading him to the elevator. It wasn't often Near put his foot down like that. Shame Dean missed it.
Sam leaned against the back wall of the elevator, adjusting his burden. He'd forgotten how heavy Dean, at a dead weight, could be. The burden was important to him and he wasn't about to complain, so he carefully adjusted his brother.
They arrived in Dean's room, and Mello put the pillow back onto the bed before Sam put him down.
Sam gently laid his brother on the bed, arranging bedding to support his head, back and right side. He tucked him, gently running his hand through the short hair, and leaned down and did something uncharacteristic for him. He kissed Dean softly on the forehead, and whispered, “I love you, Dean.” He stood up and looked at Mello.
The blond gestured for him to follow. Once in the hallway, Mello looked at him. "I'm gonna tell you this to warn you. Your brother's bonded a bit with Near. I know you can be the jealous kind so I'm telling you this..one wrong snip at him and you'll have Matt and I after your ass." Yeah, he was starting to bond a bit with the fluff ball and only he could pick on Near.
Sam sighed,, realizing Dean would do that. Near was different and seemed to need someone. So did Dean, and he'd all but destroyed his brother. The older brother was always drawn to kids and those still near enough to childhood to draw his attention when they were in need. Sam thought that what Dean needed was a wife and kids, but he didn't see it happening any time soon. It was a shame, but he wondered what it was about these three that attracted Dean, especially Near. He needed to find a way to break through the barriers and get to know them, once he'd passed muster.
Mello led him up two floors and to a room. "Here's your sleeping quarters."
Sam entered the room, and turned to Mello, “Is it possible to have my things?”
He nodded. "Yeah, give me a few."The blond disappeared.
He figured the boy would go through the duffel before bringing it up. He wasn't worried, because Dean would have removed any weapons from it the moment he knew his brother was addicted to demon blood.
Mello came back a short while later. L and Watari had gone through it, removing anything that would be addictive or hurtful.
Sam had looked over the room, which was very similar to Dean's. He liked the bathroom. The shower was large and there was a separate tub with a whirlpool in it. Dean would enjoy that since he couldn't use the shower right now, unless they found some way to cover his right side. He wished he knew how much damage had been done to both Dean and Near.
He stepped out of the bathroom and saw Mello depositing his duffel. “Would you mind answering a question for me?”
"If I can," he took a bite of his chocolate bar.
“What kind of gun was used on Dean and Near? How badly were they hurt. One or two shots?”
“Please tell me it was just one. That can do a lot of damage. Which of them got hit first, took the brunt? “ Damn, he knew that answer.
"Dean did. He threw himself over Near. She was at near point blank range. it would've killed Near if it had hit."
“Yeah, it would have. Near is small for that kind of bullet. It would have ricocheted all over inside of him. Dean took it in the shoulder? How much damage did it do? At least bone would have slowed it before it entered Near. That's the only good thing.”
He listed the injuries for both of them, which had been extensive. "We owe him a great deal for Near."
“Hell, Dean. I'm glad you weren't killed, and for your sake, I'm glad you saved Near.”
“I'm going to get a shower and get some sleep then. Thank you, Mello. I don't know my way around in this place. Will someone be coming by tomorrow to give me the lay of the land as much as I'm allowed to know? I'd like to know what my schedule is going to be also.”
He nodded. "Yes, someone will. Don't leave until someone does come for you."
“I'm not stupid. I know I'm a prisoner for the time being. But thanks for the warning.”
Mello didn't answer the 'I'm not stupid' comment. It was too easy. "Night."
Sam took the first shower alone that he'd been allowed and he savored it, thoughts going back to that recording. Under drugs, his brother had been raped. He planned it for the queen, but Ruby was unexpected. He knew Dean's feelings about demons, especially Ruby. He'd tried to accept her for his brother's sake. Dean had never trusted demons and it was worse since hell. To have been forced under a chemical control to do whatever she wanted. Sam shook his head. He'd heard women at the bars talk about his brother. That was seldom as they didn't usually stay long, but it happened. Dean was supposedly a very giving lover. To have to do that with Ruby, much less that queen. Why wasn't Dean totally crazy right now? He so wanted to talk to him, but knew that topic was going to be off limits for him. He bet Watari would broach it now that it had come up. Dean needed help. He'd gone into shock.
Sam dried off, put on some sweat bottoms and a t-shirt and laid on the bed, his mind on his brother. Damn, he thought. ' I have physically hurt him. I invaded his mind tonight. That's no different then what Ruby did. I raped his mind.’ Sam had a long, sleepless night.