Movies and Conversations
Dean walked over to Watari. “It's gonna be a long day, Watari. No one's eaten. Can we set up a movie room somewhere with the extended versions of the three Lord of the Rings movies, and have a movie day? Sam, Near, Mello, Matt, and me? Just keep us supplied with healthy foods, and let us keep our minds off what's going on?”
The old man smiled. "Consider it done. Head to floor four. The boys are there. Tell them to take you two to the theater area."
Dean grinned. “Thanks, Watari. Theater? We get it on big screen? Fantastic! Hey, Sam, follow me. Gotta surprise for you.”
Dean headed for the door.
Sam followed his brother, interested to see what Dean was up to.
Dean hit the fourth floor button. When the elevator stopped, he yelled for the boys.
"What?!" Mello looked up from his computer.
“Where's the theater area. We are gonna to be inundated with healthy snacks. Sorry about that, guys, and the greatest trilogy ever made, extended versions. Come on. Lead the way!”
"Movies?" Matt had heard that. "Really?"
“Yeah, and I hope you like them. I think they're great, and the extended versions are wonderful.” Dean noticed his brother giving him weird looks. He stared back, trying to figure out what was wrong with him.
"Sweet!" He grabbed Mello and Near, pulling them with him. The white haired one barely had time to grab his robot before being dragged. "Let's go! Let's go!"
Dean grinned at them, turned and said, “Come on, Sam.” He turned and followed the boys.
The group headed to another room where comfortable chairs and cushions were in abundance with a large high definition television and surround sound system two-thirds of the way from the end wall. Watari had the movies waiting to be put in as well as snacks on a buffet table with drinks on ice.
Everyone was filling plates, while Dean put disk 1 of movie one in the player. He then turned to the buffet. There were a lot of sweets and snacks the boys would like, but there were also things Dean could have, and Sam would like. Dean did put a little potato salad on his, but mainly headed to a wonderful bacon ranch dressing. He had veggies, small turkey sausages, some buttered rye bread, and deviled eggs. He poured himself a large ice tea and magnanimously handed the controller to Sam, grinning.
Sam laughed, getting the food and drinks for himself, then set up the first movie, “Everyone ready?
“Yeah! Turn it on, Sam.”
He pressed play, curling up with the food and watching as the boys settled comfortable with their own snacks to watch the movie.
The Credits for Fellowship of the Ring started playing.
The teenagers were enthralled with the movie, barely remembering to eat at most parts of it.
Everyone used the changing of disks to get more food, drink, or for bathroom breaks. Dean walked up to Sam. “Why'd you stare at me so strange when I told boys I'd picked an extended trilogy?” He handed Sam a fresh plate of food and a drink.
"You're full of energy usually and the last time we tried to watch this, you were up and down a lot. Thanks for the food," he responded.
“Sam, I got badly burned, viciously attacked, quickly healed by an incredibly worn out angel, and that didn't give me complete healing. Then right after the healing was the rescue, shooting, and capture of Ruby. I don't remember much after that. When I finally came too, I was exhausted. Worse then I can ever remember. Watari said my diet had given me nothing left to heal with. My body's been fighting to get me well. Top it off with mental and emotional draining like nothing I've known before. You're right, I am beginning to think I don't remember much about this movie, but we needed something long, and well... I don't feel like getting up and down. So, this seemed like a good idea.” The smaller man smiled softly at his brother. Sam noticed the circles under the eyes, and a look of fatigue.
“They tell me you spent your time off in a session with L. I was told you were tired, but happy, and you went to bed at 6:30?”
He nodded, taking the change of subject in stride. "I was exhausted. He really put me through a lot."
“Sam, you were off because of the addiction sessions the day before. Then that video. Why? What about it made you happy? Can you share what happened.?”
"Because I realized that I am worthy of being forgiven, Dean. That I don't have to be angry all the time."
Dean eye's shown bright with unshed tears. “That's the best news I've heard from you in a long time,Sam.”
He smiled, tearfully as well. "Yeah...I'm getting there. And I'd love to see it happen to you too."
Dean looked confused. “Sam. I..is it not enough to just realize I'm not all those things I've been accused of down through the years? I'm trying desperately to reach that. I don't have anger issues, Sam. That's not been my problem. I've been angry before but I've been able to let it go after a while. But some things you can't be forgiven for, Sam. L said something today that made no sense to me. I just shrugged it off, because there are things. There just are” The smile was a sad one. “I am getting better, Sam. There's just a lot to get through.”
"Dean...you have to learn to love yourself.." There was a lot of concern in his voice.
“Sam, I'm trying to make myself believe I'm not a whore. Okay? There's crap worse then that in my life. Other then you and Bobby, and maybe Ellen, there's not a damn person on this planet that loves me. Okay. I know what's in me,and I know what I've done, so how can you expect that?”
"Because I love you, dummy, and I want you happy!"
“Happy? God, I wish I could be. I don't remember what it feels like, Sam. Not really.”
He set his food down, kneeling in front of his brother. "You'll get there.”
“Did you know that L thinks that I fulfilled the prophecy in hell because I was a righteous man? What the hell does that mean, Sam? Everything I do turns out wrong. What's righteous about my life?”
"You have a firm sense of right and wrong. You help people without asking for a damned thing in return. Remember the kid that didn't talk?"
“I would think that hell erased all of it, Sam.”
"No, it didn't. Even good men can break. It doesn't make them less good."
“It does when they enjoy it, Sam. I am going to continue these sessions, and face everything and strive to deal with every one of them, but hell's off limits, because that's where I lost it all, and there's really no going back from that. Okay?”
He cupped Dean's face. "Listen to me...you know how I'm sure you're still a good person?"
His voice sounded listless, “How, Sam?”
Sam angled himself so Dean could see the three teens on the floor, watching the second half of the first movie. All three were transfixed, even Near, whose eyes were wide as he watched. "You bonded with three kids who would have been written off as misfits..especially Near," his voice was soft as he answered. "You love them, make them laugh, play with them...bad people don't do that. You want proof..those three are living proof."
Hazel eyes stared blearily at the three boys, and he smiled at the rapt attention to the movie. He looked at Sam. “Really?” He looked back at the boys, Near being enthralled. He remembered talking about Middle Earth and the redwoods and Mallorns. He smiled, as he looked at Mello, who had hated him; Matt, who tried to teach him how to play video games, something Dean knew he'd never be good at. Sam was right, he did love them. He cared about them.
"Damn it, they are not misfits. They're special is all." He turned and looked at Sam. “That makes me okay?”
"Makes you more than okay."
“Okay. How the hell do I fix me? I just keep finding more filth. L's gonna get tired of this. He really is.”
"I doubt it. He knows we have issues and says that he'll keep at it as long as we're willing."
“L mentioned hell and said that from knowing me, he knew I was a righteous man. Sam, he brought it up. It's gonna come up soon. Don't know how to do that. I really don't. It was...I can't do that, Sam.”
"You're going to have to face it, Dean..for your own health."
“Whichever one of them takes that on, I don't envy him.”
"I know, but I know you can do it."
“You know I can do it? Sam, you have no idea how hard it was to tell you that little bit I told. To go in depth. Ohhhh. I don't envy him.”
He smiled at him. "I have faith in you." Sam moved back to his seat. "Now, enough emo shit. We're missing the movie," he teased.
They ended up watching over twelves hours of Lord of the Rings. Watari kept food and drinks on the buffet through the entire marathon. When Sam returned to Hobbiton and the music started. Dean smiled. He hadn't realized how much of the movies he'd actually missed. He was stretched back, almost relaxed, when Watari entered to let them know the church was protected, and everyone got out unharmed.
Sam smiled at that news, thanking him for letting them know.
“Watari, will they be back here tonight, or resting somewhere and back tomorrow?”
"Bobby is returning, the rest are heading back to their locations."
“When will the debriefing be? Tomorrow?”
"Yes, once he's rested and ready."
Dean stood up. “Guys, this has been one of the best times I've ever had. Thank you. I'll say good night to you.” He looked at Sam. “I've been a little on edge, but trying to relax, all day. I think I'll walk a while before heading to bed. Night, Sam.”
Everyone went their own way to grab some sleep.
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