Interlude for Sam and Dean
Dean winked at him and started putting the extra paperwork and books up. “Wanna eat lunch with me?”, he asked his brother.
"Sure," he nodded. "I'd like that."
“Great. I noticed a cabinet over in the corner and checked it out. It's empty so I thought we could put this stuff in it for the time being. Whatcha think?”
"Sounds good to me. We should double check with Watari first."
“Yeah. He's down in the nether regions somewhere, seeing to lunch, I imagine. I could call him on my cell.”
"Never mind..easier way." He looked at L, asking his question, and the detective nodded absentmindedly. "As it is not in use, feel free to store the materials there."
Sam turned and saw his brother hauling an armful of materials towards the cabinet.
He went to help him, not saying anything as he picked up more of the materials and stacked them neatly in the cupboard.
Dean had finished, not realizing Sam was behind him He turned quickly to go get another load, and ran straight into his brother's chest, his nose actually touching him. He stopped suddenly and looked up into brown eyes, almost straining his neck to see him. Sam knew his brother's feelings about personal space, but didn't care this time. The hunter was overdoing it and it was time for Sam to take over whether he liked it or not. Dean stared at him, a curious expression on his face. Sam almost grinned. He was pretty sure what the hunter was thinking....'What the hell?'....most likely, the taller man thought. It was time for him to start taking care of his brother for a change, but how does one tell that to Dean Winchester?
"I got it here, why don't you let Watari know we'll be eating together. Isn't there a garden or something we can eat in? Get some sunshine?"
Dean looked confused, and replied in a question instead of his usual matter of fact way of talking. “Where we were the other day, by the pond and fountain?” His voice almost faltered.
"Yeah, if you feel up to it." He was putting the materials up as he spoke.
“Yeah, sure?” Dean looked really mixed up. L, watching this, realized that Sam had just taken on the role of leader for awhile and Dean, tired as he was, wasn't sure how to handle it, hence, the major confusion. What was interesting to L was he didn't fight him.
Sam finished putting things away before turning to the group. "If you'll excuse us for a bit. Think Dean needs to recharge and my stomach is starting to sound like a monster's in my belly."
Everyone was watching the questions run through the hazel eyes. The younger brother knew the hunter would have been scratching his head as he tried to figure out what was going on, if he could. He told L they were going to eat in the garden outside, and asked if he'd let Watari know. The hunter followed Sam out of the room, still running what had just happened through a very tired mind. He thought that Sam had just taken over things in a leadership role but he was standing there and Sam never did that to him...but he just did....didn't he? He shook his head, still very confused.
The younger brother fell into step beside his older one. "You OK?"
“Not sure what I'm thinking, Sammy. I swear I'm hearing things, or my mind is just screwed up royal right now, cause I'm tired.”
"What do you think you heard?"
“Well, I was doing what I thought needed to be done, and...hell, Sam...did you take over back there? Did you give the orders, and did I just obey them?”
"I did," he admitted. "You're tired and since we're a team, I stepped up a bit."
Dean stopped and looked up at his younger brother again, finding it hard to argue, when he was this tired and Sam was so damn tall. At this moment, it felt like a disadvantage.
“Well, ummm...okay.” He turned and started walking towards the gardens, trying to figure how, for the first time in his life, he'd felt intimidated by his brother's height. Damn, he thought. I really must be tired.
"Dean..I'm just trying to help."
The hunter turned and looked back up into that face that was a good 4 or 5 inches taller then his. “No, Sam....I'm not thinking very clearly. I'm not used to you doing that, and it's hard to talk man to man, when I'm half broken and you're so damn tall. Honest, I don't think I got a problem with it. It messed with my mind some, and it will take some getting used to. I'm just not used to anybody doing that. You know? I think I'm trying to say it's okay.”
"Well, you've taken the bulk of leadership and stress. It's time we were the team we talked about being..which means me stepping up at times."
The older man nodded, “Sam, Dad always gave orders. Bobby, well, he's gruff, but he loves us. Watari has tried to care for me. It's the first time, you've done it. Stepping up, trying to take care of the crap I deal with. It surprised me because no one's ever wanted to help me before. I'll try not to butt heads with you over it. Thank you, Sammy. Where do you want to sit?”
"Near a table so we can eat and you can be comfortable. Benches aren't the best for you right now."
Dean nodded and pointed to some trees on the other side of the pond. “I sat there with L when we talked about the stuff on the video. There are some nice chairs there and some tables that we can move and put the chairs around.”
"I'll do it," he answered as they headed to the spot.
He started to argue with Sam, but sighed and realized that the taller man was right. He was just not up to it. The class today had wiped him out. He kept wondering if he was ever going to get well enough to be able to do what he used to do. He looked at his brother as he started moving the table and the chairs. He felt drained but was determined he wouldn't show it, not knowing how white his face was...more then usual. His freckles were more prevalent, the dark circles under his eyes were prominent, and his shoulders sagged a bit. He sat down in one of the chairs, contemplating doing something that scared him in a way.
Sam got everything set up and then stared at his brother. "What is it?"
“I'm gonna be honest, this scares me. It's so easy to fall into just letting you lead, not thinking, and taking the time to let me get back to myself. I've never let go of control before, Sammy. I need help with it. I'm asking here, okay. I ought to be feeling a lot better then I am. Last night, Near helped me do this thing to just empty my mind and it helped me sleep, but I keep thinking I have to do it all. I'm pushing too hard to get well and I'm hurting not helping it. What I'm saying is....uh... damn it, Sammy. Please?”
"That's why I jumped in there, Dean. I could tell you needed help. I'm thinking we should run this together. Those guys..are scary smart."
“Yeah, they are geniuses..the real thing. Yeah, I thought the same thing earlier, when I hauled the duffel upstairs. Sam, what I'm saying it I need you there to just take charge in regular life too. Not just teaching these kids. There's times when I'm out of my depth, when I'm tired, sick, exhausted, and I'm not thinking right. I need you there. It's been a long, long time since I've wanted to trust anyone like this, and it's you. I need ya, Sammy.”
"I'll be there," he promised quietly.
There was desperation in the hunter's voice as he asked, “You really mean that, Sam? You won't just walk out?”
"Dean, I'm going to be there. No more cop-outs, no more excuses. We're a team, and it's time I started acting like a team player."
The look of relief on the his brother's face almost brought tears to Sam's eyes. The hazel eyes shone brightly, and he nodded, closing them and laying back in the chair. “Sam, can you be team leader when it's needed? Even if I get as stubborn as or kick like a mule?”
"I can..just be prepared to get thrashed with a wet noodle later," he teased, then got serious. "I will..you have my promise on that."
The older brother smiled softly, “As long as it's a wet noodle, I can probably handle it. I'm gonna hold you to that promise, Sam. I gotta. I'm sorry.”
"Why are you apologizing?"
“Because, for the first time in my life, Sammy, I can't be mom and dad. I can't leave you a way out. I need ya.”
"I don't need a way out. I need my brother and I'll be there for you as a brother too."
The sigh that came from Dean's direction almost shuddered. There was a longer sigh, and Dean told Sam, “That's really the best news I've heard in a long time. I think I hear Watari. I could really use a good meal right now.”
"Same here. I think my brain took a left turn at Albuquerque during that class," he laughed.
A soft chuckle was heard before the hunter responded, “You got that far? College boy.”
Sam grinned, acknowledging him on that one. "They're a tough group. Think we may have to drag Bobby in on it to keep it going."
Dean grinned. “I thought about that but wanted your input first. Bobby's family, so he ought to be involved. You know as well as I do that he reads those books a lot and knows a hell of a lot that's in them, too.”
"And we should be able to keep up with them with his help, hmm?”
“Yeah, exactly.”
He sprawled on a chair. "Definitely should ask him later."
“When two Winchesters think of it, you know it's a good idea.”
Sam grinned. "Yup."
Dean stared into the distance and grinned, “There's Watari. I'm starving.
Been a while since I felt that way. You don't have to tell me. Chew slowly, enjoy the food, don't inhale it.” Dean winked.
He chuckled softly. "Yup, definitely. Don't want you to choke on it."
“No, and it's better for you. Not considering manners. I've been listening to a lot of things lately, Sam.”
Sam smiled. "I've been doing the same too. Hello Watari."
The older gentleman smiled setting plates down for them. "Hello you two."
Dean smiled at the older man. “Well, Watari, what food am I gonna learn to like today?”
"Sandwiches today...wheat submarines with roast beef and vegetables, lemonade, and fruit."
“I can't think of a single thing there I'd have to learn to like. It sounds real good, Watari. Thanks.”
"You are welcome..take the time to recharge. My wards are not the most easy to deal with in a classroom setting," he admitted.
“I hope we have reinforcements in two days.”
"Oh?"
“Yeah, we need the man with the book knowledge, and that's Bobby. Gonna see if he'd like to get involved.”
"I'm certain he'd be willing to help you tomorrow if you asked."
“It's every other day, Watari. Gives us a day to prepare.”
The older man nodded. "Acceptable considering the pace they will work you at." Sam blinked as he prepared to take a bite of his sandwich. "They're always like this?"
Dean and Watari both said 'yes' at the same time and then looked at each other in surprise.
"Oh man...we're so gonna be run ragged."
“That's why we got to have more, Sammy. I thought I had enough. I was wrong. Now look at me. This is two hours.”
"We're not equipped to deal with geniuses of this caliber. Damn..I grossly underestimated them."
“That's cause you're smart, Sam. You're the college boy. I have no illusions. I knew they were that smart. To be fair, I've dealt with them for a while. One of them hacked your cell phone, Sam. In under ten minutes. I needed to find who your supplier was.”
He blinked. "Hacked my phone?"
“Yeah, Sam. I had to know what you'd gotten into. Matt is good at what he does. I asked him to make sure you couldn't lock it that way again. I'm sorry, Sam, but I was protecting you.”
"I know. I'm not mad..you were within your rights. I was sick and not myself. I'm just not surprised it was him."
“When he looked at the phone and talked about how easy it was to get into it, I freaked for a minute. Didn't show it, but I was wondering what we'd gotten me into, because you weren't fit to be involved. I was worried. Still, they're good kids. The longer you know them, the more they grow on you.”
He nodded. "Yeah..I kinda like Matt and Mello. Haven't been able to get to talk to Near much at all."
Watari headed back inside to check on his other charges, knowing these two would be all right.
Dean smiled softly, but he hadn't touched his food yet. “Near is special. He takes some getting used to, Sam. I hide things. He does too. Emotions, though, he has no understanding of. He doesn't experience them like we do. If there is an experience at all, he doesn't know it. Sometimes, I'm sad for him. At others,....well,.....I envy him. I'd like not to hurt so much. He's almost in a world all of his own, but he knows this world better then any of us. He's so quick to understand things. When I was in those caverns and got trapped in the queen's chamber with the queen, who I expected, and Ruby, who I didn't and who really messed me up, knowing he was monitoring and could hear me kept me sane. He knew exactly where I was. The others could only guess. He would remain calm and be able to think and act if I needed him. He's special.”
"He sounds like it. I'm glad he was there for you when I wasn't." He took a bite of his sandwich, enjoying the crisp vegetables that went on it to accompany the roast beef.
Dean had not touched his because sandwiches required two hands. He finally leaned over to try some of the fruit when he noticed that the sandwich was cut into small sections, easy enough for his free, damaged hand to pick up. Grinning, the older man picked up a piece and took a bite, closing his eyes, tasting it, as he chewed the sandwich slowly.
"Good, huh?"
“mmmmhmmm.”
"Yeah," he focused back on his lunch. The lemonade was just as he liked it too.
Dean watched his brother as they ate. “Sammy?”
"Yeah Dean?"
“I've noticed you get kind of quiet when I talk about Near. Sam, I love Near, okay, but like a son.” Dean was quiet for a moment, then his voice broke, “Not like my brother. That's you, Sam, and no one else.”
"It's not jealousy, Dean. Honestly, I'm just trying to see what it is about him that's got you so interested. Just trying to learn."
“Those boys were outcasts, Sam,....unloved, unwanted, until Watari and L took them in. I kind of understand that. In a lot of ways, we're alike. Hell, I can't even imagine keeping up with them in some things, but I can beat them at cards and let them think I barely did. I imagine I'll beat Mello at pool, but it will be a fun, friendly game....not something I still have to do to provide for us. Near, is an outcast among outcasts. Mello hated him, but that's changing, and I hope it was because I tried to be a part of all of them, and they listened when I talked at times. I'm not the smart Winchester, Sam. You are, but they listened because I've been there. With Mello, I had to prove myself. I like them. Damn it, Sam, it feels good to know they like me...just for me. I don't have to be Mom, Dad, the good soldier....just me. I'm one of the few people Near has opened to. It's like he's my own...and I wish he was.”
Sam nodded, chewing thoughtfully on his food. "I have one argument to make here. I'm not the only smart Winchester."
“That will take time for me to figure out, Sam. It's what I've been told you're, the smart one, most of my life. Maybe you just got the opportunities. Hell, I don't know. Things just came to you easier. I've seen nothing that proves I'm as smart as you. Yeah, I can play cards, shoot pool, and I can out shoot you, but you can find things faster then anyone I've known until I dealt with the trio and L. You got good ideas but you never pushed them forward. Yeah, I can think quick on my feet but you can too. You've done it when I've been hurt and Dad refused to show. It's gonna take some doing to prove that to me, Sam. Give me time.
"I was given the opportunities, and I'll make sure you have the same. I won't leave you behind again. Now eat," he playfully pointed at Dean's plate.
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