Repercussions
“I believe you could ask him right now, L. If I'm not mistaken he was cussing behind that door.”
"Hmm..indeed," he answered, not sounding surprised. "Come in you two."
“Shit,” Dean's voice could be heard. The door opened and in walked the two Winchester brothers.
L's eyes held the usual expression but to those who knew him as well as Watari and the trio did, there was an undercurrent of mirth.
Dean started talking as soon as he entered, and Sam knew it was nerves. “L, I'm sorry. I never thought for one moment that Near would be monitoring us today. I would never have said any of that in front of the kids. I swear. I am so sorry.”
The detective said nothing, simply gesturing at the seats in front of him.
Dean looked almost sick, and Sam heard, “Damn,' slip out of his mouth in a whisper.
A moment later, a stuffed cat was dropped into each of their laps with gauze bandages over the crotch areas.
Dean stared for a moment, totally uncomprehending what had just happened.
Sam blanched for a moment until he heard snickering from the duo behind them who had dropped the cats into their laps. "We have just been had."
Dean had been heartsick over Near hearing what he shouldn't have heard. He looked at the cat and then at Sam , hearing what he said, but still not focusing. “What?”
"We've just been had...they just scared the shit out of us to play a joke."
Dean stared at Sam in disbelief. “That....wasn't......funny.” He could hear laughter after he said it.
Even L was giving a small smile while Matt and Mello were laughing very hard.
Dean just sat there looking at the cat. He knew in his mind that it was funny, but he couldn't laugh right then. He thought he'd hurt Near. It wasn't funny to him. He forced a smile so everyone would think he was okay, and waited for a moment to get the hell out of there.
Near went to him, removing the cat and looking into his eyes. "Dean is well?" He'd seen the smile was forced.
Dean looked at him. “Are you okay? Were you part of this joke? Just need to know if you are okay?”
"Near is fine. Dean has not answered Near's question."
“Yeah, I guess I am. Whose idea was this, anyway?”
"Matt's I believe. Near was not really focusing on the discussion."
“What were you focusing on?”
"A case that has come in," he answered.
“You weren't listening to us in the garden?”
"About the neutered and gender changing feline? Yes, Near heard it. Near did not understand the humor behind it."
Sam heard a sob escape Dean, then he murmured “Damn it!” He was up and out the door before anyone knew what was going on.
Near blinked, then went after him. Dean was not in the hallway, and Near could hear the elevator. Dean had gone to his room and locked the door. He sat on the floor in the dark, tears going down his cheeks. He considered Near an innocent and he'd done this without thinking.
The teenager went after him, tapping on the door. "Dean?"
Dean's voice sounded more hoarse then usual, and it was very soft. “I can't right now, Near. Please.”
"Dean open this door or Near will retrieve the master key."
“Near, I will be all right. I am not going to hurt myself. Okay? I need to be alone right now. Please.”
Neither heard someone else come up, nor did Dean notice the lock being picked. Sam looked up and smiled at Near. “Sometimes it takes more then one person to deal with him when he's like this. It will give you and me a chance to work together to help him.”
"Thank you, Sam," he murmured and headed into the room.
Dean was on the floor in the dark, with the stupid cat in his lap. He looked up and saw the shadows enter the room, one slender and one very tall. “Damn it, Sam, why did you pick the lock?”
"Because Sam knows Dean needs to talk about this." Near carefully sat in front of him. "Dean will explain why Dean is upset."
Before he could respond, Sam sat down next Near, his long legs crossed Indian style in front of his brother. He was pretty sure he knew what had hurt Dean. Would his brother be able to tell Near the whole truth?”
The white haired teenager waited for the explanation.
“What we were joking about wasn't nice, Near. You shouldn't have heard it. I've tried to be sure I never said anything in front of you that was wrong. That battle with Mello occurred in front of you. I felt bad about it. This was just worse. It was wrong.”
Gray eyes blinked. "Near has heard worse, Dean. Dean should not feel so upset over this."
“You heard it from me.”
He shook his head. "Dean should try staying around Mello for any given length of time. What comes out of Mello's mouth has been worse than what Dean has said. Dean should not castigate Dean for this."
“You're not going to tell him are you, Dean? Near, can you walk with me for a minute? He can't get it out right now, but you need to know why he's being this way. I'm sorry, Dean, but this is one of the things you have to deal with. Speaking the truth.”
“Sammy?”
Sam stood and held out his hand to teen.
Near tried to rise, taking a moment due to his injuries. "Is Dean permitting this?"
Dean looked at his brother. “Sammy?”
“You told me we might butt heads over things I thought were the right thing to do. This is one of the right things, Dean. I'm going to talk to him, but he won't unless you tell him it's okay. Tell him, Dean. You can't do this any more, and you know it.” Dean stared at his brother in the shadows. He turned to Near. “Yeah.”
The genius nodded, moving towards Sam. "Near will return."
Sam stopped in the hall. “Near, I know you are incredibly smart, but this isn't about brains, or being smart. It's emotions and that can be hard at times. is afraid to open up and talk about how he feels. He's been hurt a number of times. Not just by me. Just about everyone he's loved has turned on him and told him he's not worth it. I can't and won't let that happen to him any longer. He loves you, Near. Like a son. When you overheard us, I was not happy about it, but after hearing you, I realized you are more mature in those things then I would've thought. Dean doesn't think that about you. He has you up on this pedestal. You're his kid to him. He's killing himself inside because he thinks he's smeared your soul by being overheard. It's hurting him deeply. I have to stay and watch over him because he's my big brother, and it's my turn to take care of him, so I had to let you know. I guess, in a way, it makes me your Uncle Sam.”
Near frowned, thinking over what Sam had told him. "Near does not understand why Dean would think of Near in that manner. Near is flawed in several ways and is not an innocent child."
“What you consider flaws, Dean considers hurts that mean you need to be protected.
"Near is unable to comprehend certain things and because of that, it gives Near a colder approach to cases." He was quiet a moment. "Perhaps Dean should understand what it is L and L's heirs have to face. That may show Dean that there are things Near has seen already."
“I think you should ask L about Dean before you say things to him. Maybe Dean needs to share with you about things. You heard and saw a lot of what went on with Ruby and that queen, didn't you?”
"Near did," he answered back. "Dean showed remarkable strength in the face of such actions."
“Dean is special, Near. I want to protect him. I never did before, and I should have. Most of the things that have happened to him are because of his family...Dad and me. What happened with Ruby isn't the first time. I can't betray him with the story, but he thinks of you as innocent and to be protected. Just ask L if it's a good idea or not. We don't want to give him a setback, more then what he's already dealing with. Can you do that? If L thinks it's okay, it might be good to do it with Watari or L, and I would like to be there.”
His voice was soft. "Near is still unsure as to why Dean believes Near as an innocent."
“I'm not one hundred percent sure, Near, but I think it is because you can't feel emotions like he does. It is something about you that makes you innocent as far as experiencing all the pain and hurt this world can inflict on you. He's experienced a lot of that. To him, you are protected from the pain and heartache, that makes you innocent in his eyes. You have not had to deal with that in the way he has.”
He shook his head, not really understanding. "That is not logical."
“Emotions are not logical, Near. Dean feels like a father to you. He has come to love you like a father would. He wants to protect you and he feels he has let you down. It hurts him.”
"Near must speak with L about this. This guilt is unhealthy."
“I'm coming with you, Near.”
He nodded, heading to the elevator.
They found L and Watari where they'd left them.
Near quietly explained the situation to his mentor and L frowned. "I believe it may be wise to show Dean what it is Near does and is being trained for. It might help Dean in realizing that Near, Matt, and Mello have seen more than he knows."
“L, something crossed my mind on the way here. Dean may think of Near as he was before the pool hall.”
"I have thought of that. Would you please go and retrieve him, Sam?"
“You've been watching us, so you know he's given me leadership right now. I may have to force him to come. Just a warning.” Sam headed for the door.
Sam popped into the room. "L wants to talk to you..Near too."
“I need to be alone awhile, Sam. You talked to Near, and it would seem you both talked to L. I'm guessing Watari is in on this too? I gotta settle my thoughts and stuff down first, Sam. I did what you wanted and gave Near an okay to talk with you, so please.”
"Dean...you have to come. So come on, OK?"
“Give me one f*ing reason I need to go through more right now, Sam.”
"Because Near is trying to prove a point."
“Near, L, and Watari want to prove to me that he's not what I thought he was and was trying to protect. I get it.”
"No, Dean, I don't think you do. Now, will you please come with me?"
Dean stared at the shadow in the doorway. When had Sam gotten so big?
He thought back over Sam's life. He couldn't protect Sam. He couldn't protect Near. What the hell was his life worth, if he couldn't protect those he loved.
"Dean, I don't want to have to pick you up but I will if you don't come with me. This is important."
“I can't get up, Sam,” he whispered.
He helped his brother to his feet, making sure not to hurt him.
The hunter moved towards the bedroom door, the stupid cat dangling from his left hand. He slowly headed towards the elevator.
Sam walked alongside him.
Dean walked to the rear of the elevator and waited for Sam to push the button to wherever everyone was.
L, Watari, and Near were waiting in the large room upstairs.
The thought of a tribunal crossed his mind for a second, but he knew better. He walked to a chair near them and sat down. His shoulders were slumped down, his head bowed, and his left hand hung between his legs, the cat still being held.
A folder was handed to Dean by L. "This is a taste of what my heirs and I face. Look over it." It was an old case..serial murder that Near had solved a few months ago. The pictures and contents were grizzly.
Dean thought back over the case he'd done with them. The pictures were far worse, and Near had handled following him, and knew everything that had happened. He knew that. It seemed to flow over Near in his mind. Somewhere, he knew that was wrong. His Near, his boy was just as screwed up as he was. Dean started crying.
Watari looked at Dean. "Near is not damaged, nor are you. You have to realize that yes, Near does have an innocence to be protected...that's due to the fact that there are things he cannot understand. However, the realities of life are things he has been exposed to. Neither of you are damaged."
“Yeah. Both of us are just fine. Why should I be surprised that he's seen things as bad as I had at his age. Has he killed yet?”
The old man shook his head. "No, he has not."
“At least try to protect him from that. He won't be able to cry over it. It will be locked inside somewhere and he won't know how to deal.”
L addressed him then. "I am hoping Dean will also assist in helping to protect him from that."
“What? How?” Dean looked up at Sam a question in his eyes.
Sam smiled and nodded, encouraging him as L answered. "As you have offered to teach us and also what we had discussed. With every person within our network, it means Near and the others, including myself, do not have to be directly involved. Just calling the shots, so to speak.
“I don't want to do it alone any more, L. I need Sam totally involved with me. I want to do this for Near, the boys, you and Watari, but it's got to include Sam. He needs to be involved up to the neck like me. He can be trusted. I think you know that.”
"I will speak with him on this later," he told him.
“I will do everything in my power to protect him and all of you.”
L nodded then watched as Near looked at Dean. "Does Dean not like Near anymore?"
Dean grabbed Near and hugged him close, tears still flowing. “I like you more then you could ever know, Near. I love you like I would a son if I ever had one.”
"Dean does not believe Near is broken or inadequate due to what Dean has discovered?" Near had seen the look on his face and wasn't sure what the other had thought.
“No, Near. I thought I had done something horrible to you. I thought other things. What you are is someone who rights wrongs. You hunt and find killers. I do the same thing. I thought something else had happened. I was wrong. I am so glad I was wrong.”
"Near does not wish to lose Near's friend," he murmured quietly.
“Dean doesn't want to lose his either, Near.”
Near nodded. "Near thanks Dean."
“I thank you, Near.”
His eyes lit up just slightly at that.
Dean smiled and held out his hand.
A small one was put into it. The larger hand clasped the smaller one. Dean sighed deeply and the smile went to his eyes.
Sam relaxed, grateful that this had been dealt with.
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