Watari, L, and Bobby Talk.
Watari went to check on his wards, knowing the two Winchesters would be all right. Sam had his brother well in hand.
They were all gathered in the top room, with Bobby listening to everything that had happened. L was listening and doing research for the two who seemed to mean so much to Dean.
“Dean seldom mentioned those two. I think Sam mentioned it once or twice in passing. He never showed one sign that the he loved the woman or that he really thought the boy was his son. Damn that boy sometimes. He holds it all in.” Bobby was helping Near work a puzzle while he talked. Near had a cup of tea and some snacks by him.
Watari could see that Near was slowly calming. What had happened earlier had seriously overwhelmed him.
L spoke absently from his computer. "When I find them, I can determine if the child is his or not."
Bobby looked across at the man, “DNA?”
Yes. Easily procured," he murmured.
Dean took off a number of times, saying he had things to check out. I had no idea he was hunting for them. If he had no intention of letting her know he loved her, why hunt her down?”
"Security. If he knows where she is, if something happens, he can get to her to protect her," L answered.
“Yeah, makes sense. Sam's mentioned girls in Dean's life once in a while. Only one I thought he loved was Cassie. Lisa is one I never considered to even be in the running. Will surprises never end with that boy? That's one major weakness I didn't know he even had. That's why he never stayed long in one place.”
"Possibly," he answered as Watari refilled tea cups
“You've both been messing around with his head, trying to help him, for a while, now. Either of you see this coming? I thought he'd dealt with everything. How'd he hold that in?”
"He hasn't come forward with everything," L told Bobby. "This was one thing that hadn't."
“Then he's not all right? What about Sam?”
"They're both doing better, Bobby."
“I want them to have happy, normal lives, L. Is he even ready for this kind of commitment? He's planning on hunting Lilith soon. Is he ready? What's left for god's sake? I guess part of it has been trust on Dean's part. Sam hurt him.”
"He has to learn to react to pain," Watari told him. "Sam is human; he will make mistakes."
“I've watched the boys grow up. Sam's pretty normal, and we owe that to Dean who tried to see to it the boy had a normal life. Well, as much as John Winchester would let him. Dean grew up knowing sadness more then anything else, L. Can't remember many times the boy was happy. I'm sorry but John was a bastard as far his oldest son goes. Heartache is Dean's middle name. Hiding it to avoid more pain became a survival instinct for him....second nature. I love both of those boys. You'd think, if you didn't know them, that Sam was the gentler, more sensitive one, but hell no. He's like his dad in a lot of ways. Dean, the tough acting one, is the gentle one. It's really time that Sam stepped up and took care of him...if the idjit will let him.”
Watari noticed that Bobby did not leave Near, playing puzzles and keeping a close eye on the boy.
"He is learning different life skills to handle things of that nature. He knows his prior behaviors are detrimental to his health." L sipped his tea, not looking up from his work.
Near's fingers only gave a slight tremble as he continued to work on his puzzles, occasionally enjoying a bite of his snack or a sip of his tea.
“Well, are the things he's having problems with, like Lisa and Ben, things he doesn't think of as problems? Is that why he hasn't approached you about them? Hell, this one seemed major.”
"He deemed it as none of my business," L told him.
“He tell you that?”
"Yes," was the simple answer.
“How the hell did you get it out of him? When Dean says that he clams up tight.”
Dark eyes looked at the older man. "I have learned when to push."
“He didn't hit you? Hell, you got courage, boy.”
"Courage has little to do with it," L commented.
“What does then?”
"Determination and some stubbornness."
“In other words, you were more mule headed then he was.”
Watari chuckled at that, while L simply nodded. "If you wish to phrase it that way, then yes."
“You realize, even if you find her, he's not gonna go talk to her. The excuses he's had are still there.”
"One step at a time," was the quiet answer.
“It there's one lesson John Winchester seems to have instilled in Dean, it's that he may need the world, but the world doesn't need nor want him.”
"Again, something that will take time to break." he had a plan for this once he found her actually.
“I'm beginning to hate the word, 'break', when it comes to that boy, but I trust both of you with him and with Sam. I've noticed differences. I love those boys more then anyone could ever know.”
He nodded. "Their progress is admirable and encouraging."
“Is he ready for this hunt?”
"I believe so. And he will not be going alone."
“All right, then. As I said, I trust you. You want me on the hunt?”
"Your expertise is welcome in either area." His eyes drifted to the white haired teen. "Near and Sam will be guiding us using surveillance."
“Is Dean planning and heading this?”
"He and I will be co planning," L murmured. "But in the field, he will be heading it."
“He's better then his dad at that. One of the best I've ever seen, to be honest.”
He nodded, typing something as he listened to Bobby.
“Watch him, though. Dean won't ask someone to do what he can do. He'll give his life up easily for someone else. He believes life is sacred, and it's his job, alone, to protect it. Don't ask me. His dad didn't teach him that one.”
"I plan on ensuring that does not happen."
“That's good. I worry about both of them, but Dean..well. You've been around both of them enough to see the differences. Both good boys, but they are made from different molds.”
"Which is not unusual."
“No, it's not, but most people see them as the opposite of what they really are. More's the pity. You gonna let them sleep the night away or get them up at supper time”
"They deserve the rest," he murmured. "I will know if they wake and have food sent."
“One thing I've noticed about Sam since all of this started, is that he's starting to take responsibilities. Dean can't do it all any more. Sam's stepping in more. What has surprised me is Dean's letting him without much of an argument. I think I like it. Another thing.Sam isn't running from Dean any longer. He's trying to help him.That's a massive improvement from adding to the blame. Thank you.”
"He needed a chance to prove he'd grown up."
“Yeah, he did. I think he's doing a damn good job of it now. Dean is beginning to recognize it, I think. To be honest, Sam needs to watch over his big brother for a change. Dean's at a major crossroads for himself. He's got some major shit he's dealing with. I think he's making improvements, but damn, there's a lot of shit.”
"Indeed," he said quietly.
“I just want you to understand that, yes, he's faced it, but he still has to conquer it. That's a one day at a time job. It's not gonna be easy, but he's not alone. That's his nightmare. Being alone.”
"A nightmare he keeps himself in."
“John deserted those boys more often then not. Dean was quiet and never left Sam. It was his job. Most people didn't like him and wanted him gone. It took Jim and me a long time to break through whatever the hell the death of his mom did to him. John would leave them alone for days, sometimes weeks when he was little. No one knows this, but I beat the hell out of John one day. I heard him tell Dean that if he didn't tow the line and be the perfect little soldier, he'd take Sam and leave Dean at the next motel. Scared the shit out of that boy. He never corrected that. Yeah, it's Dean's nightmare.”
"He is learning to work out of that as well."
“Oh, I know. It's just a hell of a lot to work out of at one time. He's gonna break in places. There's too many cracks in his armor right now. He says there's no stress. I keep thinking what he's opened up about and trying to get a good handle on. That's a hell of lot of stress.”
L nodded. "Something to work on there."
I can pass him on the way somewhere and here a whisper of the I'm not a whore mantra. I sometimes wish John were still alive. I'd kill him slowly.”
"Indeed," the detective answered. "If I believed in an afterlife, I would say that he would deserve damnation."
“For the longest time, Dean worshiped him. I'm hopeful that he's finally realizing that it wasn't him but his dad.”
"I believe he is advancing towards that."
“He's been pretty violent when he's faced things. If accepting is gonna be as harsh, you got a padded room?”
"I have arrangements here."
“I just don't want to see him hurt himself when he gets there.”
He answered the other, not looking up. "I do not believe he will become that violent. He has made steps towards accepting."
The relief in the older man's voice was thick, “Well, as I said before, I trust you with my boys.”
"I will endeavor to uphold that trust."
“I believe that. Let me ask you something. You believe that Lisa and Ben can help him?”
"He needs to face his fears."
“Yes, he does, but what is he fearing in this...opening up and really loving, accepting love from someone else, or of danger to them if he loves them? Mary and Jess have died in the Winchester saga. Of course, Mary is the main problem behind all of this. Her deal.”
"Rejection."
“If she don't want him, don't let her into his life, please.”
"And let him live without closure? Is that healthy?" He looked at Bobby.
“No, you are right, but is more rejection going to destroy him? He's so close breaking as it is, or was what happened today the final breaking point? Was that the dam breaking?”
"I believe so. We will have to wait and see."
Bobby nodded and grew quiet, working the puzzle with Near.
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